I’ll start off this week’s column with one from our house. We own two vehicles, a minivan and a small, sporty vehicle. When parking them in our garage, the minivan goes only on one side because the other side has a movable storage platform that fits perfectly in the space above the small car. One day, my wife Judy wasn’t thinking about which car she was driving as she began to pull into the garage. Since she normally drives the little car, by habit she pulled into the space for that car and proceeded to scratch the top of the minivan with the bottom of the platform. At first, she thought that the platform was falling on top of the car, but then realized that she was driving the minivan into the wrong space. Think that’s bad? Two weeks later, she did the same thing. The top of the minivan is gouged from one end to the other.
Rosemary and Dave “Crash” Nash live in our neighborhood and gave me this story. Dave said to Rosemary, “I’ll load up the car if you will give me the keys.” Rosemary said, “Sure, they are hanging from your belt.” Dave has crashed a few too many times.
One of my softball buddies, Jimmy Hayes, sent a bunch of “moments” for this issue. Check these out:
… I had a rubber insulator for a pop can in one hand and a can of pop in the other hand. I started to pour the pop into the rubber insulator. That’s when you know you have been out in the sun too long.
… A cell phone started ringing in my bat bag. I opened the bag to find that it was one of my teammate’s phones. He had no idea how it got in my bag.
… A teammate is on first base when his cell phone goes off. He happens to be carrying his phone on him and proceeds to answer and carry on a conversation in the middle of the game, oblivious to the game situation.
… Another teammate is batting for the 4th time in the game and asks me, “Who do I follow?”
… Same teammate goes up to a new player on the team and says, “Hi, I’m Joe, nice to meet you.” The new player turns around to me and says, “That’s the third time he has introduced himself to me.”
… I came back to the dugout and everyone is scattering away from one of our players. I ask, “What’s going on?” One of our players, who forgot his sun screen, had his lady apply bright RED lipstick to his lips.
Finally, these are not “geezer moments,” just some thoughts by a geezer:
… Don’t you hate that feeling during an argument when you realize you’re wrong? Especially when it’s your grandkid that is winning the argument?
… How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
… Do you get really annoyed when the voice in your GPS says “recalculating”?
… I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. I’m sure people do the same for me, but who cares?
… How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
And finally, …sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
That’s it for this week’s column. I would love to hear from you readers of your “geezer moments.” Please send them to me at greengeezer9@comcast.net.
