SUN CITY – Maybe it’s that he loves to shop and she loves to golf. Or maybe it’s the lifetime spent in theater that first brought them together. Maybe it’s their two adored cats, Boots and Sweetie.
In January, Jim Williams was diagnosed with the rare mantle cell lymphoma cancer. Following shortly after, in April, his wife Kate was diagnosed with breast cancer. The couple is now taking turns supporting each other through their respective treatments and keeping high spirits. (Photo provided)
Whatever the source, there’s a tangible connection between Jim and Kate Williams that reveals itself in laughs and smiles as they talk about how their lives have changed this year.
Their connection must be an incredibly strong one because they’re talking about cancer.
Jim was diagnosed this January with mantle cell lymphoma, a form of cancer with only about 3,000 cases per year in the U.S. according to the Mantle Cell Lymphoma Consortium. Jim will undergo a new procedure which harvests stem cells and bone marrow to reintroduce healthy cells and strengthen the immune system at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago.
Kate was diagnosed in April with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. Her chemotherapy will end around October. She will then undergo a lumpectomy and radiation for several weeks.
“The whole thing is, see he got diagnosed first and both of us, having spent most of our life in theater, I couldn’t let him have center stage for long; I had to take it over with breast cancer. It was my turn,” Kate said.
The theater is what brought Jim and Kate together almost 25 years ago. The pair became best friends performing in Palatine, and Kate said it was inevitable that they would get married.
The two were married onstage following a matinee performance of “Romantic Comedy.” Foregoing a honeymoon, they performed a matinee the next day.
Though they are well-versed in performing, the defiant positivity the Williams exude, as well as the faith they place in their doctors and nurses, is no act.
“Nobody has said to me or to him, ‘This is over; it’s over for you. Why don’t you just be comfortable?’ We’re getting, ‘This is treatable,’” Kate said.
Cancer has wiped away routine for the Williams. As they switch back and forth as caretakers for one another, they have a hard time making definite plans.
“There’s the big thing: the ‘I don’t know.’ You know how many times we say that? A lot,” Kate said.
Laughing in the face of the unknown seems to come easy for the Williams. Jokes follow almost every mention of otherwise grave subjects; and the laughs aren’t brittle and nervous, but hearty and carefree.
“Anything that goes wrong, we just make a joke out of it,” Jim said. “Sooner or later, a joke pops out about something, like we joke about how many times more I’m going to call the guys from 9-1-1.”
The couple’s resiliency couldn’t be faked either: Jim mentions how he contracted diabetes after undergoing chemo, as if he is simply taking it in stride.
“Jim said to [his doctor], ‘Is this diabetes going to go away when I’m completely through with chemo and everything’s over?’ He said, ‘If it doesn’t go away, then it’s permanent. You’ll find out,’” Kate said.
“His point is, you’re alive and you can live with diabetes,” Jim said. “Take your shots and shut up.”
Kate told of how she forgoes prescription painkillers in favor of Extra Strength Tylenol.
“And so [the nurse] said, ‘You know, you are a really strong woman. And I said, I’m not strong, I’m stubborn. There’s a difference,” she said.
Jim and Kate celebrate each other’s good news, and both say they are thankful for the days they feel close to normal.
“When [Jim’s] test came back after he finished his first course of chemo, and it came back and he was cancer free, I mean we were over the moon because you can look at him and say, ‘Right this minute, you do not have cancer,’” Kate said.
“But you have diabetes,” Jim joked.
The couple has given thought to how they’d like to give back once they are well again.
“If somebody wants to be entertained for five minutes, we could put together a little skit and entertain people on the oncology floor and just see how it goes,” Kate said.
Kate said how she would like to use her experience to help others going through cancer.
“I’d like to write a little handbook for chemotherapy patients, but not anything serious,” she said. “I mean, obviously it’s going to have some serious stuff in it, but it would be more like the funny things that happen and the things that are humorous.”
Jim is thinking of starting a free handyman service to handle repairs and maintenance for Sun City residents.
Jim and Kate certainly have strong partners in each other, but few sentences go by without them mentioning the support given by their fellow Neighborhood 12 residents and friends in the Sun City Theater Company.
Between the cards, prayers, phone calls, food, dinner invites, and car rides, neighbors and friends in Sun City have shown committed support to the Williams. Some have even planned parties and events around their chemo schedules so they could attend.
“The support system out here in Del Webb is unbelievable,” Jim said.
As if any extra proof were needed along with the pile of cards and balloons, a neighbor stops by seemingly on-cue to drop off some chicken salad.
“When we’re one year free, we’ve got a very expensive bottle of Dom Perignon champagne somebody gave us like ten years ago and we never found a reason to open it,” Jim said. “We figure one year free we’re going to have a big party over here and everybody at the party, especially all the people who supported us through this, is going to have some champagne.”
“Of course, not everybody’s getting Dom Perignon,” Kate said. “Unfortunately, they’ll be getting the cheaper stuff.”
As benefactors of the kindness and generosity of neighbors and family, the Williams offered the advice of staying connected.
“Talk to people who have gone through it before you. Let your friends know so they have the opportunity to be helpful. Don’t hide in a room, and don’t let anybody not know it; we have friends who have done that, and they die lonely and nobody knows they’re sick until they’re at their funeral. You can’t do that,” Jim said.
Jim and Kate have realized for themselves what receiving kind words and acts from others can really mean.
“You are so grateful that somebody takes a minute to pick up the phone or to send a card,” Kate said. “It means so much when you’re going through this because you are isolated to a certain extent out of necessity.”
During the interview, Kate sat across a table behind a row of bright yellow lemons. On that hot July day, it would be all too tempting to squeeze them into a cold glass of lemonade.
If that were the fate of those lemons, it would make perfect sense. After all, the Williams have been given sour news this year, but with the help of family, neighbors, friends, doctors, and nurses, they look forward to a sweet ending.
