Og Mandino, the most widely read inspirational and self-help author in the world, said it best: “Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision but as a remedy, a miracle drug that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.”
And that quote so eloquently sums up my own personal philosophy on life and so many people I know. So imagine my surprise when I received news that folks were offended by my last A Slice of Life column.
My mother and I always loved reading Erma Bombeck’s column. Our favorite was her article written as she was in labor. Because so many people were coming into her room to exam her, when the cleaning crew arrived, she simply through back her covers and resigned herself to yet another examination. The startled man replied, “Lady, I’m just here to sweep under the bed!” We laughed until our sides hurt.
My purpose in writing A Slice of Life is to do just that. To take the everyday life in an active adult community, see the joys, the friendships, the parties, and the get-togethers, and yes, the incredibly silly, quirky, and funny things we do and write about it.
My neighbor, Peter, now affectionately refers to me as Erma.
Such an honor.
As anyone living in an active adult community knows, planning an event takes about as much time as, say, the gestation of an elephant. If you look it up, it’s about 22 months. The event can be as elaborate as a dinner dance or as simple as hot dogs with a local DJ spinning ’60s and ’70s music. You can go to the bank with the fact that it’s going to be time-consuming.
The first step, of course, is deciding on the actual event. This is usually discussed at an event planning meeting attended by at least 27 people with varying opinions as to what constitutes an event. If the group can reach a consensus that same evening, it’s a go – sort of. Now begins a series of meetings which can range from anywhere from five and up to, but not limited to, 15.
First and foremost, the above mentioned event must be approved by the director, the manager, the board, the builder, Grounds and Landscaping, and persons who go to bed prior to 9 p.m. If alcohol is served, approval from Homeland Security is an absolute necessity.
The day and timing of the event is of great importance and often requires an Excel spread sheet. If the event is held on a Tuesday, that conflicts with the Bocce players. Wednesday automatically excludes the Veterans, Crafters, Square and Line Dancers, and Monday, well, who attends anything held on a Monday? Saturday seems as though it’s the most appropriate day of the week. But the starting time! If it starts at 4:30 this excludes the golfers and 6 may interfere with the out-to-dinner crowd. After much debate, the committee settles on 5 p.m. and votes unanimously to include dinner.
Food is the ultimate challenge in any active adult community. Should the event be catered, or to reduce expenses, could we manage the cooking ourselves? If we cater, does the chef have a certificate of insurance? Is his coverage adequate enough to cover ptomaine poisoning, allergic reaction, gastrointestinal distress, choking and/or hives? Does he have a certificate from the city of Elgin, a certificate of authenticity, or even a birth certificate? As one can plainly tell, certificates of any make and model are of supreme importance in any event planning.
Alcohol is another hotly debated topic. If beer and wine are served, do we need a bartender? Does he have a certificate attesting to his completion of the stipulated courses from the local University of Bartending? Is it current? And what about continuing education classes? Has he ever bartended for an active adult community and could he even handle an inebriated senior? Someone, quick, find out if this kid even has any grandparents!
Decorations, from my experience, are usually saved for the twelfth meeting, after the menu and entertainment have been confirmed. Cost is always a big consideration. Balloons, while they’re inexpensive, definitely spell kid’s birthday party. Table decorations are fun but may need to be created out of what’s left over from previous events and now resides in the storage room. Anyone actually hoping to enter the storage room must have a photo ID and a recent mortgage payment slip (notarized) on their person. Need I say it, another committee must now be formed and meetings scheduled.
Remember the 1978 Peace Talks at Camp David between Begin, Sadat, and President Carter? Any discussion involving coffee and dessert takes longer. Should we serve regular or decaf, real cream or that powdered stuff that always gives me a stomach ache? Large cups or small ones, red to match the dinner plates or white to match the napkins?
Should we do the clean-up ourselves or appoint, you guessed it, another committee? Is there even time to schedule another meeting?
Dancing? In an over 55 community, women, (myself included) dance with their woman friends. We take an Advil around 5 p.m. so that we can comfortably dance the night away. We have such fun doing the stroll, YMCA, Twist and Shout (may require an additional half of an Advil), and the Electric Slide. Upon occasion a brave male or two will join us, but usually by 8 p.m. the husbands are tired and many are already sitting in their cars in the parking lot listening to the game or snoozing.
The event always turns out wonderful, the food and music terrific. Friends and neighbors have been able to spend a lovely evening together and have their photos taken for the community newsletter or maybe for publication in The Sun Day.
After many sincere expressions of gratitude for arranging and planning this lovely event, the hard working committee and guests head for home to rest up over the week-end.
Monday morning, 9 a.m., you guessed it, the wrap up meeting!
2 Comments
Great article. Anyone who has ever served on a committee of any kind for any reason can relate to this light-hearted clever look at committee life.
Thanks for the laughs and the fun.
You are so right on the money! keep up the good work, as always I look forward to your articles Hmm what’s your next gem going to be ? Anyway keep them coming. thanks.