There are myriad decisions to be made before one retires. There are the practical matters, money, downsizing and purchasing a home in an active adult community. And what to do with the 47 linen tablecloths and matching napkins we wonât be using anymore.
Therefore it comes as no surprise to realize that with all these life-changing decisions to be made, retired persons do not think about retirement fashion. This appears to be a mostly male situation. From my observations, the Edgewater ladies all dress smartly.
Something needs to be done about this male issue and quickly. I believe I speak for many women currently married to or dating retired males.
Because we are no longer going to the office, classroom, hospital, dental building, or court room does not mean we completely abandon all sense of fashion. Retired lawyers and doctors, would you go before the Supreme Court or perform surgery wearing a sweatshirt that reads, âMy grandkids are smarter than yoursâ?
Recently I was glancing through a People Magazine when I spotted a photo of Woody Allen wearing Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks no less! Nothing spells retired male louder than socks, black or white, calf-length, worn with sandals and Bermuda shorts. My own husband is guilty of this. We were halfway down Randall Road when I noticed he was wearing tube socks with sandals. We had to make a U-turn at Big Timber to return home and retrieve his summer loafers. And just as driving and texting have been declared illegal, so must this male fashion faux pas.
This brings about an entire discussion regarding feet and, in particular, toes. Any pickle ball, tennis, or golf foot injuries resulting in discolored toes must not be wearing sandals with or without socks (unless your doctor mandated it). Iâm sure the rules and regulations documents we all signed prior to closing on our homes addresses this issue. A clean pair of white sneakers, off-white loafers, or a nautical boat shoe are timeless and a must-have for any summer wardrobe.
Any retired male wearing a spandex shirt must immediately have his AARP membership revoked for all eternity. These shirts cling and are not meant to s-t-r-e-t-c-h across a generous belly.
Iâve had to redirect my own retired male back to the closet to rethink an outfit or two. It seems as though life has truly come full circle when I find myself laying out his clothes just as I did for the kids the night before a new school day.
I donât mean to imply that all retired persons need to be featured on “What Not to Wear.” While attending Edgewaterâs popular Music on the Green summer concert series, I noticed my friend Maxine and her husband. Maxine is a tall, slim, regal, red-haired Southern beauty. She was dressed in crisp white linen pants, black top, black sandals with perfectly manicured toes, a chunky black necklace, and funky black chandelier earrings. Bob, a handsome man by anyoneâs standards, wore a tailored pair of light summer slacks, a tab collared shirt, tucked in, with a matching leather belt, and summer shoes. This couple could easily appear on any fashion magazine cover and make us all proud.
I also noticed my friends Carol and Tom. Carol is a true Midwestern beauty who will perpetually look 35 years old. Iâve never seen her not put-together. Carol wore black capris with a summer lime green t-shirt and coordinating light jacket with just enough jewelry to complete her light, airy look. Tom, slim and healthy looking in a great pair of jeans, wore a light tab shirt, tucked in, and a leather belt. Perfect.
Then I looked over at my own husband and his Howard Hughesâ feet complete with neon-flashing blue/black tennis toe and a spandex shirt. Maybe that sandal and sock combo isnât such a bad idea after all.
As spokesperson for women married to Retired Males and friends of Woody Allen, I say that Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter our work is never done, which leads me to Holiday sweaters.
To be continued…
