Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Certified Senior Advisor and Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. I have two neighbors who are homebound, and I worry about them. One has a caregiver that comes to help her, but my other neighbor does not have a support system in place. Her family is not in the area, either. How can I help without over-extending myself?
A. It is our nature to reach out to help people. Sometimes it’s easy to do, but at other times, we can over commit, and we find ourselves neglecting our own families or our own personal space. By the year 2030, 26 states will have experienced a doubling of their 65+-year-old population, with the majority of those elders still living at home.
Chronic illnesses, disabilities, and any number of forms of dementia will require those afflicted elders to become nearly homebound. That change in lifestyle will result in a lack of physical activity, some withdrawal from the social aspects of their previous lives, and an overall deterioration of their health (both physical and emotional). It is wonderful that one of your neighbors has acted proactively and invited a caregiver to help her. This will actually help her remain independent in a safe and comfortable way.
As individuals, we may have an opportunity to intercede on this elder group’s behalf; yet, what’s the best way to move forward? We know that people prefer to remain in their own homes, which certainly is good for them emotionally. However, what about the other aspects of their life? What can we do to contribute to our friends’ quality of life?
One could surmise that homebound seniors may feel alone and unsupported by not only their family, but by friends and perhaps the community at large. Even if their basic needs for meals, clothing, hygiene, and medical areas are covered, the senior may still need to fill voids in both physical and mental activities that were once filled by out-of-the-house activities.
One way to bridge the gap from being a fully functional, community involved individual to that of a housebound, isolated person is to get involved in some things that might be new to them. If you have a computer, you can help your neighbor with virtual activity, such as Skype, to reach out to long-distance family. This use of computer technology brings outside people into the home of the elder by means of a computer screen and speakers. This is not only innovative, but actually works to bring a little sunshine into one’s home.
You might also be involved in a small daily routine such as reminiscing, organizing family photos, playing bingo, having casual conversations, and even something as simple as bird watching. These are all available means of bringing the outside world into the elder’s house when that person can’t get outside to experience that world directly. Your own grandchildren can even be an enriching part of your neighbors’ lives. My nephew learned to play chess by playing with his grandfather!
There are also telephone conference calls that can link several homebound seniors together with outside resources providing satisfying activities by phone. If the senior can get out of the house, even briefly, aquatic activities (exercise class for seniors in a local pool) are tremendously positive for both mind and body. Contact the senior service organization in your area for resources. A local church or hospital chaplain may also be a great place for support and resources for either of your neighbors. Remember, when combating isolationism, it’s important to remain open-minded and creative, realizing that all interaction enriches the homebound person’s life.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
