Grief Group Memories
I appreciated Mason’s article about my resignation from leading the Grief Group, but I want to share the reason for my leaving and add some memories which will always be in my heart and soul.
Early in 2004 someone said to me, “Matt, there are a lot of grievers in Sun City. You are a retired minister – why don’t you start a Grief Group?”
I said, “That’s a good idea; I will give it a try.” I put an invitation in the newspaper inviting grievers to come to the
meeting, 10 a.m. – 12 p.m., on March 5, 2004. Eleven people showed up on that first day. The enthusiasm of the group has carried me with joy and love for almost nine years. Lately I
knew that my macular degeneration limits my ability to read and recognize people coming into the Community Room of PNC Bank. I am sad to leave, but it is the right thing to do. I have plans to write “My Memoirs” across these 85 years.
I want to share one message which I tried to teach the grievers. “Who Are You?” The real you is not your body. That is just a place you occupy for a number of years.
The Real You is a divine spirit, given by God, to live in the physical world and learn lessons that can only be learned here on earth. That divine spirit is permanent. It cannot be killed, no matter what kind of death comes to the body. I felt blessed to be in the presence of all the divine spirits occupying these physical bodies in the room over the past almost nine years.
I love this poem by William Cullen Bryant, which takes away the fear of death:
“So live, that when thy summons comes to join
That innumerable caravan which moves in that mysterious realm, where each shall take his
Chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but sustained and
Soothed by an unfaltering trust, approached thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch about him,
And lies down to pleasant dreams.”
Matt Meyer
Founder, Sun City Grief Support and Life Enrichment Group
In answer to Chuck Chodl’s letter, I agree with him that bonuses or incentives in an economy as badly managed as ours in the U.S.A. is an insult to good fiscal management. However Wentworth is an independent company, and as such, it is their business how they treat their employees.
The attached products are insured by the community association, and then the cost is passed through to the owners of each unit. Individuals who own free standing homes have to provide, on their own, homeowners insurance, and if anyone’s homeowners insurance went down, I am unaware of it. I should know since I work as an insurance salesman/agent selling homeowners, auto, and life insurance. Homeowners policies have had higher deductibles imposed onto the homeowner, as well as premium increases.
The greater risk of damage Mr. Chodl wrote about is real. If one unit, in an attached unit building, catches fire, it is rare that all units within that building doesn’t sustain some damage, if only smoke damage.
It is my understanding that since we assumed control of the Association, Pulte has not had a say in it and that Wentworth works for us and was hired by a board we elected, and if we made a mistake in electing them, then we can remedy that at the next election. The board sets assessments, with the help of all the committees and has the final say, as our elected representatives.
I believe the board we elected are trying to do a good job, and I also believe anyone who doesn’t like what they do should run for a seat on the board and change whatever it is they don’t like.
I don’t speak for the board or Wentworth, but I do know how it works, since I am on the board of another Sun City in another state, where I have a vacation home and have gained some experience with the inner workings of the Sun City Huntley management while serving on a committee. I don’t know any of the board members. I have never met even one of the current board.
Wilton Jere Tidwell
Sun City resident
To Sun City Residents:
The votes have been cast and unfortunately we as residents have lost. Why, because board members Ralph Bergstrom, Linda Davis, Harry Leopold, and Jim Van Fleet out voted Bob Beaupre, Bonnie Bayser and Jerry Kirschner 4 to 3. I personally want to thank Bob, Bonnie, and Jerry for stepping up and voting against the budget.
What are some of the things we can do as a community to see this does not happen again? We can first vote out those individuals who voted against what we as residents feel is in our best interest. This is just one item out of many in our budget that should be eliminated, and I am not sure when or why we as Sun City residents began paying over a $127,000 in incentive pay for “doing a good job.” I would like to know who decides who is doing a good job and how much incentive pay they should get. The one thing I do know is that in this economy, this should stop. Where I work, if you don’t do a good job, you don’t have a job.
We must have a Board that is sensitive to the fact that for one, we pay very high property taxes in Kane and McHenry counties, many of us are retired on a fixed income, and many of us find it difficult to pay these assessments as they continue to increase. Attached homes are paying assessment upon assessment. Some attached home residents are or will be paying as much as $285 per month in assessments.
We need residents to come forward in the next election/s and get on the Board. I still work full time or I would be throwing my hat in the ring. I can tell you that as soon as I do retire, I will run, and I hope to be elected. We must have some residents who have 12 hours a week to spare plus have some business, financial and/or managerial skills who could be a real asset to our Board. Please, if you are in any way qualified, think about running in the next election.
It is up to all of us, starting with the next election, to start voting out the people who seem to have a total disregard for the concerns of the residents and what it is costing them to live here in Sun City. Sun City residents, if you have any ideas on how we can get Bill Pennock to resign or retire, I would like to hear from you.
Have a Happy and Healthy New Year,
Kathy Ryan
