How I learned to stop worrying and love the game of bingo

Moving into an active adult community requires a major adjustment. And I’m not referring to a chiropractic adjustment but an adjustment of one’s attitude.

For example, shortly after my husband and I moved into the Edgewater community, I made him take a solemn oath to wallop me if I ever even so much as whispered that I might like to play bingo. That particular game just spelled “senior” to me.

So here we are five years later, and I can’t wait for a Fun Friday White Elephant bingo game. I haven’t told the kids yet but I plan on spilling the beans at our next family get together. I’m hesitant because I know my daughter, the therapist, will insist on some type of crisis intervention. No matter, when I’m older I shall wear purple and play bingo.

Here’s how it works (the game, not the intervention): The players have an early dinner, which is not that unusual in an over 55 community, especially at this time of the year when it gets dark so early. This affords us plenty of opportunity to get our snacks, beer and/or wine together and wrap a gift. A white elephant gift is something you have around the house, say from last year’s holiday celebration, which you don’t like or have any use for. This could be a reindeer-shaped pine-scented candle, a set of coffees from around the world, or a Hickory Farms cheese set with a mini carving board.

One thing most of us don’t need at this point in our lives is another something for our kitchen. In fact, many of us will be converting our kitchens into guest rooms as soon as Portillo’s opens on Randall Road. The gift giver, however, wants to be conscious of the expiration date on anything edible, as there’s that prickly insurance business in active adult communities.

At 6 we head down to the lodge, where a table is laden with gaily wrapped gifts. Friends and neighbors are chatting, passing around snacks, homemade cookies, and popping wine bottle corks. Did I mention this is an approved BYOB event? The two callers arrive, and very soon we will need to get down to business: bingo business, that is, and we’re talking two cards each here. Veteran bingo players bring their own cards just as in mahjong or bridge.

So whether it’s straight bingo, picture frame, or the four corners (not to worry, you’ll pick up the lingo in short order), it’s game on. And this requires focus and concentration. It doesn’t matter that it’s a white elephant prize and not the $3 million lottery, everyone wants to shout ‘bingo” and win a prize.

All action stops as the winner retrieves her prize, and let me say that some of these prizes are incredibly clever. Last month our delightful neighbor Ruth had the winning hand. She rushed up to the gift table and retrieved a beautifully wrapped elongated box. Could it contain jewelry? We all wondered as she tore open the box, which contained a do-it-yourself home pregnancy test. Now if there is anything any of us need, in addition to another mini carving board, it’s a home pregnancy test! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw unassuming Christine with just the slightest twinkle in her eye and knew immediately she was the gift giver and such a clever woman.

We all dissolved into unabashed laughter with Ruth being the greatest sport. She promised to email everyone with the test results “the morning after,” so to speak. And, of course, we all wanted to give her adequate opportunity to share the exciting news with George…

A committee was hastily formed that very evening and plans are underway for a shower and gift registry, minus the nursing bra, with invitations soon to follow. In lieu of the traditional shower games, we’ll play bingo after a lovely lunch of punch, tea sandwiches, and cake, so bring your bingo card, the wrapped pine-scented reindeer candle, and a great attitude. I must phone my daughter and try to talk her out of that intervention. Attaining senior status is not that bad, and the gifts, like friendship and laughter, are priceless.

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