My husband and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary by purchasing tickets for “The Book of Mormon” followed by a lovely dinner. The entire day including parking, gas, theatre tickets and dinner, totaled an amount somewhere between a mortgage payment and a student loan. And this prompted me to think perhaps Active Adult Communities should have their own theme song. My nomination would be the 1968 Tyrone Davis single “Turn Back the Hands of Time.”
I never thought I would be old enough to say “Remember when going to the theater, including dinner and parking, was $50?” but I’ve arrived.
We left the house about 11:30 a.m. to allow ourselves plenty of time to get into the city for the 2 p.m. matinee. Attending the evening performance is out of the question, as that’s way beyond our bedtime. There was lunch to think about, and I packed it in my Thirty-One insulated cooler hostess gift.
So there we are in the U-Park-Yourself, and we’ll charge you the low rate of just $30 prepaid or you’re not getting out of this parking lot, and we’re sort of dressed up. We sit in the car with the heat running and the window cracked open a bit, and I begin to unpack the red checkered tablecloth, homemade fried chicken, potato salad, assorted fresh veggies, rolls, beverages, and chocolate cake. I guess I’m just a thrifty, small-town Ohio gal, as I’m not paying an additional $50 for lunch.
As we were “dining,” I noticed several people glancing our way. An elegantly dressed woman remarked to her companion as they passed by, “It’s sad the way senior citizens have to watch every penny these days, but boy, that chicken sure smells good!” I began to think that if I were a little younger and had bit more energy, starting a business selling before-the-theatre picnic lunches in garage parking lots would be a great idea, “Park and Dine.”
We walked the long three blocks to the theatre, and I was wearing heels. We were inside the door before my husband told me that our seats were in the balcony. He’s in really good shape, as he plays tennis and pickle ball all year around, and I just fry chicken for exercise. We headed right out the lobby doors and made a beeline to The Shoe Warehouse, conveniently located on the corner, where I quickly purchased a pair of sneakers with the downtown price of just a mere $159.50.
Needing to get my money’s worth, I gleefully told him that there was no need to take the elevator, and up the stairs we went. As I write this, it’s now Monday, the house smells like Ben-Gay, and I am still trying to catch my breath. Who know what those theatres charge for a whiff of oxygen?
As we reached the third floor, I was nearly faint and dehydrated. Would you believe $3 for a small bottle of water and $8 for a plastic cup of wine? As any self-respecting grandmother would, I have juice boxes and granola bars in my purse.
I’m thinking of opening a theatre third-floor concession stand. Water bottles and juice boxes – $1; high energy, good-for-you energy bars – $1.25; and a puff of oxygen – free with proof of a Sun City or Edgewater mailing address.
