Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. My friend, who I dearly love, is always late for any functions we attend. Since I donât drive, I am reluctant to say anything about this. What can I do?
A. This sounds like a touchy situation. I wonder if there might be some issues that are adding to your friendâs tardiness. Perhaps there is a gentle way to approach this by asking if he or she is having difficulty in getting ready. Maybe physical limitations are present, which may slow them down. There could be any number of reasons.
However, since this is happening over and over, you may have to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friend. In situations where I need to address a conflict or issue, I use this sentence: âI feel ___ when ___.â So, for example, you would say, âI feel embarrassed when we arrive late to church.â Then the opportunity to explore the situation is open for discussion.
The discussion isnât meant to be accusing or to put your friend on the defensive; it is meant to have feelings shared. If this is uncomfortable for you, you might want to look at other transportation options for yourself. There may be other ways for you to get to your appointments. Senior Services has resources to explore, or you might consider hiring a personal caregiver that can provide transportation for you. Itâs all about choice. If you are frustrated with your friendâs tardy behavior, it could damage your friendship. If this is where you are at, youâll have to examine what is important to you.
⢠Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL. 60177.
