Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. I moved here 10 years ago when I was feeling great. In the past year, many things have changed. I lost my husband and my health has declined. I really want to stay here, but my family is telling me I need to move to assisted living, which I don’t really want to do. I don’t even know what assisted living is. What can I do?
A. It’s natural for your family to worry about you! This rings true for most of us. It sounds like your family is thinking ahead, but perhaps your goals differ from theirs. This is a common scenario I see, and I view it as a chance for an honest family discussion.
Start the conversation with an assessment of your situation. Be realistic and take a look at your concerns versus your family’s concerns. Let your family know your wishes and goals. Do they know that you want to remain in your own home? As you discuss your concerns, write them down. If your desire is to age in place for as long as you possibly can, there are options.
A caregiver can help you remain independent and safe in your home, providing one-on-one care to help you age in place. It’s important to do some research. What would it look like for you to have a caregiver? Talk about this with your family. We have seen many seniors benefit from working with a caregiver. Some seniors are reluctant to work with one, but a caregiver can help with meals, medication reminders, transportation, light housekeeping, and so much more. It’s like having a personal assistant by your side, who will help you maintain your independence.
So once you identify your concerns, think of options on how to address those. You are actually creating a plan. If assisted living is one of the options in your plan, do your homework and visit and evaluate communities. You may be able to compromise and begin with an in-home caregiver to see how that works for you. It’s a start and will help relieve the worry and concern your family has. Have a plan and work the plan together. Remember, you can always re-evaluate as you go!
• Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
