Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. Every so often, my daughter asks to borrow a few dollars. Usually, she explains that she is a little low on funds. Lately, her requests have become frequent, and I feel flustered about giving her more, especially since I am on a fixed income. How can I lovingly say no?
A. This is a tricky situation. It sounds like your daughter may be experiencing a difficult time with finances. Our economy is challenging these days and this challenge is affecting many people in many ways.
It seems that some children, no matter what their ages, seem to need extra help at times. Lending a few dollars once and a while may be OK for you but now there seems to be an infringement on your personal finances.
It is important to be up front and tell your daughter that you’ve noticed her requests have been more frequent. Is there something she needs to share with you? Address your daughter with care and concern. In other words, have a heart-to-heart conversation to find out what is going on in her life.
Second, let her know that your money is budgeted and while you may not mind an occasional “loan,” she may need to know the limits of your budget, so she can be sensitive to your financial situation. If it is too personal for you to share such information, then it may be time for a tough-love position. This requires courage as you decide to stand firm in your decision.
Ask yourself if this is something you can really do. Your daughter may need to find other resources to help with her finances. While I don’t know the entire story, encourage her to explore options to bring more income to her household. In any event, make sure you are smart and sensitive with handling this issue.
• Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
