An occasionally triumphant, always trivial pursuit

By its etymology, trivia is pointless.

Etymology, by the way, is the study of the origin of words. Did you know that?

No matter, back to trivia. It’s trivial. Fluff. Meaningless knowledge. And that’s ironic, because I have a knack for it.

In school I used to bemoan “when will I ever use this?” referring to concepts in algebra and chemistry that I just couldn’t grasp.

What I’d rather be doing would be watching TV or movies – the kind of activities that would make me a great champion in the useless arena of Trivia Night.

You see, some friends had started attending Trivia Tuesdays at a nearby bar, and I have to say, we’re pretty good at it. We’ve finished in first place a couple of times and usually are in the top three. Still, the most we can earn is a $25 gift certificate … split at least three ways.

I wonder how much I’d make if I studied harder in chemistry. I’d probably be wearing a lab coat right now.

Yes, it’s a little embarrassing to be good at something so lame. But while on the surface trivia seems to require no talent or knowledge, let me at least try to defend it.

It takes, at the very least, the ability to recall obscure details. That has to be a sign of brain health, right? If I can recall that Harper Lee wrote “To Kill a Mockingbird,” that should count for something.

When memory fails, the trivia gladiator must rely on skills of deduction. How else can one infer the order of the invention dates of the telephone, helicopter, lightning rod, and self-playing piano? Unless you’re a host on “Antiques Roadshow,” I doubt you know those off the top of your head.
Maybe trivia does matter at the elite, major league level: “Jeopardy!”

The show not only offers big winnings, but has created pseudo stars like repeating champion Ken Jennings and has even sparked cultural discussion with the IBM-designed supercomputer Watson reinvigorating the “man vs. machine” contest.

But I know I’ll never reach that level. Being on “Jeopardy!” requires more than just a bank of bunk knowledge. Jennings and most other contestants are the kind of people who probably enjoyed physics equations in high school or read up on Charlemagne while I was reading “Harry Potter.”

I’m not “Jeopardy!” material. But I think I could walk away with a few thousand on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” or at least make it five blocks on “Cash Cab.”

For now, I’m happy with the occasional free drinks and food.

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