Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Question: I will be visiting a friend who I have not seen in quite a while. I know he has had health issues and is very sick. How can I have a meaningful visit with him?
Answer: It sounds like your friend is near and dear to your heart, so it may not be as challenging as you think. However, your concern is valid. When close friends become sick, we can feel awkward when we visit with them. It does not have to be that way.
My dear friend has been battling a serious illness for over a year. When I see her, I always ask her how she is really doing. It’s a heartfelt question, and it is O.K. to ask. When she responds, I listen. I don’t offer advice, a solution, or give her a trite response. It is not a time for me to bring up other peoples’ illnesses or my own physical complaints.
It is a time for listening and staying positive. One way to do this is to talk about the things that bring joy to your friend’s life.
Sometimes when I visit my friend, I bring a small gift that is meaningful. It does not have to be anything fancy. It can be a small gift book or even a little plant. Something that makes her smile. The whole point of your visit is to spend time with your friend.
The visit is about your friend and the friendship you share. Talk about fond memories and plan on making future memories as well! This will rejuvenate your friend and that’s the most valuable gift you can ever give.
• Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
