Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. My wife just started using a walker, and it makes me nervous. She is agreeable using it at home, but when we go out, she wants to go it alone.
A. The idea of using a walker can be quite frightening. Yes, it’s a tool designed to make ambulation safe, but it can create a feeling of dependence. For some, it may bring about of how fragile we can become as we age.
So, while you realize the walker is a good thing, it may touch on some sensitive emotions for your wife. You said that you are feeling nervous. Have you mentioned this feeling to your wife? After all, you are experiencing some new emotions as well. Remember, you are a team! If you can recognize that this is a difficult transition in her life, I suggest honestly acknowledging this with a little TLC. Talk about her fears and yours as well.
It is important to understand that certain tools are designed to help us, no matter what stage in life we are in. Think about the many tools that have helped us accomplish so much in our lives. The high chair that made it easy to feed our toddlers to the jack that lifts the car so that the flat tire can be changed. These are tools designed to make life easier.
If you can both look at this as a tool that will help her maintain independence, then perhaps she can find freedom to use it in public. The last thing she will want is to take a spill during an outing that could land her in the emergency room.
If you share your concerns and how her choices could impact you both, she may have a different perspective. If this still doesn’t help your situation, it may be time to have a conversation with a professional.
Your wife’s doctor might be a good advocate, guiding her to make wise choices, keeping her safe while out and about. The other consideration is to take a look at the type of walker she is using. There are many styles of walkers available out there. It might be worth taking a look at a “Cadillac” version so that she can use it with a happy disposition. Just a thought!
• Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
