Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Certified Senior Advisor and Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. My mom has been living a very healthy life until recently. She now suffers from panic attacks and canāt leave the house. Iām constantly checking on her and making sure she is okay. I donāt have much patience some days. Help!
A. Sometimes we run on auto-pilot with our parents or loved ones. We move along from day to day with peace of mind because they are living a life that is full of vitality. When an unexpected health incident happens, everything changes. In your situation, it is very important to get the proper medical attention. Iām sure youāve already done that and you probably know that it is a delicate challenge to find the right medication to help with anxiety and panic disorders, should that be the path to health. Sometimes, we overlook things that need examination, such as what brought the anxiety on? It may help to seek counseling to sort through memories that have been laid to rest, only to surface at a later stage of life, causing the body to react with anxiety.
The combination of counseling and proper medication can lead your mom to good health again. In all of this, it is important to keep your ātankā full. By this I mean, taking care of yourself, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually so you can give in these same ways. Caregiving can start out being manageable, but it can take a toll on the caregiver. That surfaces differently in each person, but it must be recognized and addressed.
Good for you that you are aware of your feelings. As you care for your mom, consider small ways she can get back to her active lifestyle and how you might help implement some of those things. This means baby steps for her ,and yes, it will require patience on your part. But if you provide care with the understanding that you are helping her gain independence, the reward will be priceless. If you cannot devote the time you would like to her care, consider getting help from family or friends. Senior Services Associates can help with this, especially if you need respite.
A private caregiver can also fill in for you, providing companionship to your mom as needed. A once-a-week visit from an outside caregiver can do wonders for you but, more importantly, can give your mom an opportunity to engage in life fully again.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177. Visit us on Facebook!
