Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Certified Senior Advisor and Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. I am noticing that my wifeâs memory is declining. What can I do to help her? There are times she is fully engaged and other times when she is ânot here.â I am getting discouraged.
A. Memory loss is frightening for both of you and can be challenging for everyone involved. There are some things that you can do, though. First, I would recommend talking to your doctor for help. Second, a support group would help you tremendously. If you are her primary caregiver, you will need to find ways to rejuvenate yourself, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Some things you can do to connect with her are simple. It will be time well spent as well. Engage in activities that stimulate memories. Reminisce with her. Talk about things she loves doing or loved doing in her younger years. If she doesnât have the ability to read, you can read to her. Talk about past books, movies, or plays she used to like. Ask questions that provoke memories. Taking a walk down memory lane can help both of you. If reading doesnât connect with her, think about great meals you have shared, how she used to cook, sew, or participate in sports. The idea is to get a conversation going that is engaging. If she is able, you can even do those activities, like cooking together. Talk about family memories and holidays. This is a great way to cultivate a conversation and to fill your love tank and hers as well.
Another great way to engage is by creating art together. The Alzheimerâs Association has shown how creating art helps those with memory loss. People with no art experience have become engaged when creating art. Music is another great vehicle to engage the memory, and similar results have been demonstrated. Try one thing at a time. Take baby steps. Youâll be amazed at how little things like art, music, and literature can connect with a person. Remember, to take care of yourself so you can care for her!
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