Change is weird.
I mean, itās something we all go through, since itās a natural part of life, but itās still weird.
You build up this perception of what is ānormal,ā and when a wrench is thrown into that system, you view things differently. Not in a bad way, per se, but itās just different.
About a month ago, my little brother finally received word that he had been accepted into a program in Hiroshima, Japan. As in, halfway around the world.
Staying put had never really been a family thing, as my older brother and sister-in-law lived in Asheville, North Carolina, and Boston for a combined four years. Plus, all three of us lived in our respective college towns, so we never really called Prospect Heights home once we turned 18, but heās leaving the country.
This is something entirely different.
Granted, Iām happy for him. And I know heāll have an amazing time, but Iām still trying to come to terms with the fact that my little brother in a few short weeks will be living on the other side of the planet.
And it makes me wonder if Iāve missed my chance to live abroad. Sure, I lived in Normal, Il., for five years, but that was the furthest from the Chicago area where I called home. Iāve always been fond of Illinois; thereās never really been a part of me thatās wanted to leave, but now being the only one of three children to never leave the confines of the Prairie State, itās left me pondering the unanswered. Thinking about the road less traveled.
What would my life be like had I moved away? Is it still too late? What would I even do if I lived somewhere else?
Iāve never really thought about leaving the state, even though there have been opportunities presented to me. Even during my search for jobs, I prefer to find something in-state. I know this limits the results, but I donāt care.
I think it ultimately boils down to my family. Iām not blaming them for making me stay, but itās just that all of my family lives in Illinois. In the Northwest Suburbs, actually. Weāre all relatively close and, therefore, see each other often.
I always look forward to seeing my family. I get along with both my motherās side and my fatherās side, even though the general atmosphere is vastly different with both. I believe putting distance between me and that would somehow complicate the relationship. Not destroy it altogether, since weāre all growing up and moving on to different things, but it just wouldnāt be the same.
It may just be that Iām not ready to give that up. Iām not ready to grow up. And seeing someone who was born two years after me about to make the biggest move of his life is opening that door.
That will change, obviously. Eventually I will have a family of my own, and maybe down the line I will have an opportunity presented to move and/or live out of state. But until then, Iām quite content living in Illinois.
But Iām still planning on that trip to Japan.