The parking lot was full, the lobby crowded with people and anticipation, the line at the concession stand long, and every seat in the theatre filled for the (local) premiere of this long-awaited and highly promoted movie. I felt lucky; I had gotten the last seat available even though I ordered it online 10 days in advance. There were already over $200 million in ticket sales in Europe, and here I was on “opening night.” Even the Sno Caps tasted especially good as I munched my way through a box waiting for the start.
I should have sensed something foreboding as the trailers began. They were endless, one after the other with non-stop ferocity, an array of mindless heroes and stupid story lines. (The one possible exception might be Tomorrowland with George Clooney, but we’ll see). Finally they ended and our long wait was over.
A brief refresher for those of you who may have forgotten who The Avengers are. They’re a group of six mentally disturbed superheroes whose job is to protect the world from mentally disturbed villains, most of whom are scientific aberrations of one kind or another. They battle fearlessly as a team, usually against overwhelming odds and technology that has surpassed their own amazing array of electronic toys.
The bad guy this time is Ultron, a non-humanoid metal creature with a mindset to destroy humanity, unleashing his minions and advanced technical expertise on an unsuspecting world. For what it’s worth, we never really figure out where he came from or who his parents are, but with all the action and violence on the screen, we have little time to worry about that.
Age of Ultron
Entertainment Rating: ★
Rating: PG-13: all the violence, death and destruction you can imagine, a handful of minor profanities.
Possible Oscar Nominations: None.
The story is predictable to a fault, it’s 90 percent battles and violence. The other 10 percent we spend listening to the mumblings of Robert Downey Jr., whose Iron Man persona has officially worn thin, or watch Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow incessantly try to seduce Bruce Banner (when he is not The Hulk) or try to decipher what Thor is saying through his thick accent. I will say that Chris Evans portrayal of Captain America was the only “stand up” role I saw.
The violence, battles, and resulting destruction are non-stop, almost to the point of boredom. The young woman sitting next to me fell asleep, and the only thing that kept me awake was sneaking a peek at my smartphone, watching the results of the NFL draft, which was far more interesting and exciting than the movie.
If you love this kind of stuff, nothing I say will keep you away; go for it!! If you’re on the fence or not sure about this particular genre and decide to go anyway, bring your smartphone; you’ll probably need it to entertain yourself.
