Whenever I used foul language when I was a kid, my grandmother Nani would sit me down and explain, “People who use words like that are too ignorant to think of a better word. You’re not ignorant, are you?”
I assured her that I wasn’t ignorant, which was only partly true. The fact was I was immature, which means that I was just barely intelligent enough to refrain from using foul language if Nani or my parents were in earshot. Once back on the streets or in the alleys with my friends, I unfurled my ignorance proudly and let the epithets fly, to the preadolescent delight of my peers.
But over time, a curious thing called “maturity” started to creep into my life. Though I was probably never as epithet-free as Nani would have liked me to be, as I grew to adulthood I also learned to clean up my language if children were around. It seemed to be an especially prudent tack to take when I became a teacher, because sometimes kids go home and tell their parents about their day. And what parents would tolerate knowing that their kid’s teacher talks like a sailor? Family values, you know.
In any case, I somehow always knew that obscenity—though sometimes soothing in scratching the itch of uncontrollable rage—was rarely a wise, mature verbal strategy. If it wasn’t a sign of ignorance as Nani said, it was at least a sign of weakness, a sign of the inability to keep emotions in control. And if you can’t control your emotional language, what else are you incapable of controlling?
Oh, I had heard my parents and other adults curse in times of extreme stress. It didn’t diminish them in my eyes, because I understood that any adult trying to run a household with inmates such as me in it would have to be saints to avoid a slip now and then. But it only happened at unguarded moments, when their “appropriateness filters” were briefly down.
But it always amazed me that you never caught certain people in such slips—your teacher, or your reverend, or your President. It was one of the things that made them special and worth respecting so much. Because not only were they intelligent enough to use a proper word at stressful times, they had enough self-control to wait for the word to come to them.
But things have sure changed, haven’t they?
If you’ve listened to some of the political rallies on TV, you know what I’m talking about. Candidates have leaned into the microphone and threatened to “bomb the sh*t” out of ISIS. They’ve promised to “kick their @$$.” They’ve uttered a cursing “h#ll” at a conservative religious school that forbids its own students to use the word. And when the candidates do it, their sock-puppet minions describe them as being “b%llsy.”
But I can’t quote their words without using symbols for letters—not if I want to see the words published in a newspaper read by American families whose family values wouldn’t stand for talk like that to be delivered to their doorstep every day before breakfast.
Actually, now that I think about it, it’s pretty much just one candidate who talks like that. I won’t use his (or her) name, because I doubt that it’s necessary. I’ll bet you can match a florid face to those middle-school potty-mouth words coming out of it. If you can’t, just turn on your TV and listen. It won’t take you long to get up to speed on this.
To be fair, there’s a guy on the other side who also threw his asterisk into the ring when he told the world that he was sick and tired of hearing about some “d*mn emails.” Some would find it worse that he calls himself a “s*cialist,” because to them there is no more obscene word in America. Never mind that he uses the term to describe himself — it’s just as shocking to hear blue language coming out of a blue party candidate as it is to hear it coming from a leading candidate in the GOP (Gratuitous Obscenity Party).
Because apparently, some of our leaders plan to “take America back” — all the way back to middle school when it comes to the language that spouts from their cuss-holes. And the biggest cheer of the night usually comes from a curse-bomb that my Nani wouldn’t have tolerated in her presence.
Just watch a political rally on TV and you’ll see.
But be sure to send the kids out of the room before you do. If not, when you hear trashy language slip from your kids’ mouths the next day and you scold them for sounding immature and ignorant, they’ll counter by saying they’re just being “presidential.” Then they’ll poll their middle-school friends for support to prove it.
I think I know what my Nani would say about this recent turn of curse-crazed political discourse and those who cheer it.
She would probably say, “Well, it pays to remember that, statistically, exactly half of all people in America are below average in intelligence. And if you gather them all into a room, they would probably be the ones to cheer and stamp their feet when they hear ignorant language coming from one of their own.”
For now, it’s mostly just cheering and foot-stomping. Soon we will see if it finds its way to the polling booths to prove that we have become a nation where ignorant, childish talk can trump mature decency and common civility.
And if it does, hold onto your asterisk; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
