A confused Confucius

Jim and Nancy do not disclose the fact that they will review a restaurant before they attend, ensuring their reviews are unbiased and uninfluenced by their position with the Sun Day.

What do you get when you cross Jimmy Buffet, Jackie Chan, and Disney’s Tiki Room? Give up? You get the Breakers Restaurant in Crystal Lake.

When we entered the restaurant, Nancy was stopped dead in her tracks by what stood before her. There was a lit up palm tree with a flamingo statue wearing flip flops, an animated lit up parrot on a perch, Tiki god masks, and fish adorning the walls. Last but not least, a giant lit up Tiki god guarded the entrance to the Tiki Bar. All of this was under a bamboo beamed ceiling. Are you confused now? Nancy was confused, but I thought it looked perfectly normal.

The hostess escorted us to our romantic table for two. We were overjoyed to notice a free standing air conditioning unit complete with a dryer hose venting it to an outside window right next to it. This contraption would have been six inches from one of our seats, so Jim politely asked for a different table. Enough said about the ambiance.

One side of this restaurant has a Tiki Bar featuring exotic tropical drinks such as the Blue Hawaii, the Mai Tai, and the ever popular Polynesian Chi Chi. The Chinese/Cantonese restaurant side features all of the traditional dishes that we all remember from long ago. These include Extra Fine Chop Suey, Wontons, and Lobster Cantonese.

By this time Nancy decided she needed a drink! She perused the exotic drink menu and went with the Rum Runner ($10) which was light rum, banana liquor, DeKuyper Razzmatazz, secret tropical juice (???), and a float of Black Strap Rum. Half way thru her drink the décor started to look normal to her…

We had to try hard to find but ever popular Poo Poo Platter (due to political correctness, it is now called the Po Po Platter) for $11. We think it should still be called the Poo Poo Platter, enough of this political correctness, but we digress. This was two egg rolls, two Cantonese fried shrimp, four chicken fingers, and two wontons with sweet and sour sauce. We were disappointed. It didn’t measure up to the way we remembered it.

Now Nancy needed something to soak up all that alcohol, and she would have eaten anything, but she decided on the Kung Pao Shrimp ($12). This was shrimp, onions, green peppers, celery, and peanuts in a light brown sauce. It was served with white rice. She loved this meal and the crunchy celery was a nice touch.

For Jim’s entrée, he wanted the Hong Sue Gai Kew with crispy chow mein noodles ($11). This was fried chicken pieces with bok choy, bamboo shoots, fungi, peapods, and water chestnuts. This was a very tasty dish and something he’s never ordered before.

Since I’m not into the crispy chow mein noodles, and Nancy is not a lover of white rice, we decided to order a side of Pan Fried Noodles ($4). They were delicious and more than enough for the two of us.

All meals come in metal covered bowls to keep your entrees piping hot. Nice touch! Our meals were very good, and we both took home doggie bags. The entrees were clearly the star tonight. They were “tiki-licious,” and the portions are samurai sized!

Confucius says, “The price for our meal was $50.85, including Nancy’s Rum Runner”. Of course with our bill, we each received a fortune cookie. Here’s one more blast from the past: In addition, we both received an almond cookie. When was the last time you had one of those?

FYI: Not really handicap accessible and opens daily at 4 p.m. but closed on Monday and Tuesday.

Jim’s take: I’ve never heard of that entree before, but I would order it again in a heartbeat. Nancy’s shrimp had just the right amount of heat.

Nancy’s take: I stepped into a very eclectic world this evening, but the drink made it seem perfectly normal. Jim’s a wuss; my dish could have used a bit more heat!

Have comments or restaurant suggestions for the Dining Duo? Send them an email at thediningduo@gmail.com.

---