Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Re Kielar, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. My father has dementia and is constantly fidgeting and moving things around in his house. This upsets my mom because she feels like she must keep him settled but can’t. What can I do to help them at this time in their lives?
A. Alzheimer’s disease can show itself in various behaviors. Your father’s fidgeting is one of those behaviors. My suggestion is to allow yourself to accept that this is part of the disease. Coming to terms with this aspect of the disease will lead to a deeper level of understanding towards his struggle as well as your ability to help your mother understand how to help him. Often, discovering or re-discovering the things that brought your father joy in his life is a good starting point in keeping his fidgeting “productive.” By this I mean, remembering his line of work, his hobbies in life, or activities that made him feel productive. If he worked with his hands, this may be a clue for you! Start by creating a simple work plan that allows him to move things that provide a sense of accomplishment. There are many activities that he can “organize.” The internet offers many ideas to help our loved ones with this as well. Look for an idea to help you focus on what might resonate with your father. One interesting item is called a busy box. This box has attachments on it that keeps an Alzheimer’s patient occupied in activities we take for granted, such as flipping a light switch or locking a “door.” Perhaps he would like to take care of organizing books or magazines, placing them in specific boxes in order to keep them in order. There are also fidget quilts that help Alzheimer patients stay engaged with simple activities. Thankfully, we have many resources available to us now with the resources on the web. All this to say that keeping your father happy and occupied doesn’t have to cost money! Be creative with what is around you! Music and simple art projects are available and easy to access. Whatever it might be, trace his interests and you might be surprised to find things that he will enjoy. I heard a great saying recently that says: look patient, act patient, be patient. Keep your emotions in check and aim to keep your father’s dignity as a top priority.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to rkielar@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
