T’was the 18thof December and look at our car, all gassed up, shined up, and ready to go far. The luggage was packed with clothes for all weather, and believe you me, not light as a feather.
And so, armed with beef jerky and Twizzlers, began the Dining Duo’s “Christmas Vacation” to see the grand kids in Jupiter, Florida.
DAY ONE: First stop in Normal, IL for breakfast at our favorite place, Cracker Barrel. While waiting to be seated, Nancy spotted on its own shelf, in all of its glory, the most infamous Christmas gift of all, for just $5.99, a FRUITCAKE!!! The end result was, we spent approximately $22 on breakfast, and an additional $24 on last minute additional stocking stuffers that will not survive Christmas day.
Last stop of the day, we “rock and rolled” into Memphis, Tennessee to stay at the Guesthouse of Graceland Hotel, which is right across the street from the “palatial” Graceland Mansion. Walking into the lobby, your ears are assaulted by the constant strains of Elvis singing “Blue Christmas.” We checked in and were told the evening’s festivities included a free showing of Jailhouse Rock in their movie theater, and complimentary peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (shouldn’t it be peanut butter and banana)?
For dinner we skipped Beale Street and went to the hotel restaurant EP’s Bar & Grill for a Memphis Burger, which was served in a basket shaped like a guitar. It took us a while to figure out that EP stood for Elvis Presley. Give us a break, we did travel over nine hours to get here.
On to the gift shop, and Elvis is still singing Blue Christmas! Jim could not pass up the iconic gold Elvis sunglasses. He put them on and immediately started singing Blue Christmas while curling up his upper lip. I begged him to stop singing. “Thank you, thank you very much!”
DAY TWO: We took an early tour of Graceland and were underwhelmed. Elvis is still singing Blue Christmas everywhere.
On to Nancy’s namesake city, “The Big Easy.” We stopped at Olive Garden for a big late lunch/dinner. We arrived at Harrah’s Hotel and Casino for a two-night stay, where Nancy had her favorite exercise routine, namely pulling a slot machine handle. She finally found a slot machine that would let her win; unfortunately for me, it was an ATM machine!
DAY THREE: We signed up for the Super City Tour of New Orleans with attractions that included Sandra Bullock’s home, Chef Paul Prudhomme’s grave site, and a stop at Morning Call Cafe for the best beignets we have ever had. If you are unfamiliar with beignets, they are airy pillows of fried dough buried in powdered sugar and are served hot and are absolutely addicting! We prefer these over the more famous Cafe Du Mondes beignets.
We came back from our tour just in time for our reservation at The Court of 2 Sisters Restaurant. Since Jim has never been there before, and I have, I wanted him to experience true Cajun cuisine. He feasted on the state critter of Louisiana, namely, the crawfish, aka mudbugs. I had two incredible dishes this evening, the Lump Crabcake for an appetizer and the Crabmeat Au Gratin for my entree. These were served to us by a waitress who was a transplant from Door County. She made us the best Banana’s Foster EVER!!!
After dinner I took Jim to Preservation Hall to hear some of the best jazz music in New Orleans. Even though you are crammed in a small room, sitting on benches designed for 30 year olds, it was still worth it.
DAY FOUR: On to the Beau Rivage Hotel & Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, another casino hotel. Do you see a pattern here? Believe it or not, Nancy was “shushed” in the casino. She was having fun rather loudly at a slot machine when a couple nearby got up to leave and proclaimed for our benefit, “let’s go someplace QUIET”!!! A Dining Duo personal best.
Our casino luck continued when we went to the buffet and realized with every paid adult meal, kids get a free picture with Santa. OMG!!! It was not a pretty sight as the little darlings, all dressed up in their holiday finest, descended on the dessert bar. We had high hopes for the buffet since it was a sister hotel to the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Such was not the case. Remember the buffet Cousin Eddie took Clark Griswold to in the movie Vegas Vacation?
DAY FIVE: On to Orange Beach, Alabama and on our way we stopped in Pascagoula, Alabama to experience the fine cuisine of a Waffle House. Two people can eat for $15, need we say more?
We arrived in Orange Beach, swimsuits in hand. To our dismay, we realized it was only 52º and raining. Bummer! We saw a billboard advertising “The Very Best Fried Shrimp in the Whole Entire Civilized World” served at Doc’s Seafood Shack & Oyster Bar. We had to test this claim and experience it for ourselves. The billboard didn’t exaggerate; they were the best shrimp we have ever had!
DAY SIX – TEN: On to Jupiter, Florida to see the grandkids. We hit I-75 with thousands of people who were trying to get to Disney World for Christmas. Six accidents . . . No waiting. The best one being when a driver went on the shoulder to get ahead of the traffic and rear-ended a Florida State Trooper. Karma’s a b#%*h! With all these accidents, we were three hours late getting to the kids.
We re-visited our two “go to” restaurants during our stay. Dune Dogs is where you get the best hot dog ever on an East Coast lobster roll bun. Dinner was at Thirsty Turtle for some of the best clam strips and clam chowder you can find. Hopefully our grandson will eventually eat something other than Dino Chicken Nuggets.
CHRISTMAS EVE: Time now for the Eggers’ Pierogi Factory. Jim rolls and cuts the dough, I stuff them, and my son crimps the edges while his wife boils them. Christmas dinner is ready and waiting.
Nancy brought a gingerbread house kit with her since she thought it would be fun to build one with the grandkids. After Grandma had a little help from her old friend Jack Daniels, this gingerbread house would not comply with any building codes known to man. But that’s okay, since grandpa and the kids ate most of the candy for it anyway.
We didn’t think bugs and Christmas went together. WRONG!!! While having a cigar on our son’s patio, Sand Fleas, aka “No See Ums,” had Nancy’s ankles for lunch. They could smell fresh blood. Nancy was scratching and bouncing around on the bed all night long. Our mattress at home hasn’t seen action like that in years!
DAY ELEVEN: We said our goodbyes the day after Christmas and sadly headed home. We took a faster route since we wanted to get home as quickly as possible in case the weather turned bad. There was not much to do except read the billboards along the side of the road. The best one we saw was in Florida, and we swear this is true: “Machine Gun America, fun for the whole family. Shoot a machine gun for $24.99.” We stopped for the night in Macon, Georgia.
DAY TWELVE: Left Georgia and drove through Tennessee the home of Nancy’s old friend the Jack Daniels Distillery.
We continued driving through Kentucky while asking ourselves the question, “how many Waffle Houses does this country need?” We finally stopped in Marion, Illinois for the evening and ate at Red Lobster where proper attire includes a camouflage baseball cap that must never be removed.
DAY THIRTEEN: Home sweet home to Del Webb Huntley!!! The best community in the whole wide world. We pulled into our driveway just as the snow was starting to fall. We made it unscathed and beat the snow and sleet.
And that is what we did on our “Christmas Vacation.”
