Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Re Kielar, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. When I visit my parents, I have noticed that we often have nothing to talk about. Conversations center on the weather or food. After each visit, I leave their company feeling empty. I donât know how to generate a meaningful discussion with them. Is this common and how can I make a change so our visits are meaningful?
A. We are a culture that, often times, is uncomfortable with âquiet.â The relationship with our parents changes in the journey. When we are the child, we receive direction and instruction and our parents are doing much of the talking. As we continue our journey, this changes. We become aware of who we are, and sometimes, our parents donât truly know us. The family threads are there, though and with some thoughtfulness, you can cultivate meaningful dialog that can move beyond the weather and food! It may take a little bit of thought on your part, though. I find when I bring up what is of interest to my parents, it usually generates a lively conversation. This is especially true when I ask them about their life in their country of origin. I love listening to the way they grew up and it generates more questions and then, more conversation. Some easy things you can do are watch a movie together and then discuss your thoughts about it. If that doesnât work, ask some open ended questions such as if they could be anything they wanted to be, what would it be? What is the best advice they would give themselves? What was their favorite age to be? Who is their favorite singer/song? What are they the most proud of in their life? The list can go on and on. The point is to get the conversation started and then keep it going. Keep it simple and focus on topics that will be enlightening and will leave a smile in your heart and theirs as well. Before you know it, this Q and A time may become a very natural routine!
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to rkielar@ visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
