It’s here at last — the final season of “Game of Thrones!” Winter is here, when we’ll finally find out if things will end up happily or disastrously for…for…
OK, I’m faking it, because I’ve only seen a couple episodes of GoT over the past seven years or so. But I’ve read plenty about it — or at least just enough to know that it’s cool to call it GoT.
Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not criticizing folks who are addicted to “Game of Thrones,” because by all accounts it’s one of the greatest TV shows of all time. “Rolling Stone” ranks it at #12 all-time—an insult, I am sure, to all rabid GoT-niacs who consider it the best of all time. But hey, that magazine lists “The Sopranos” at number one, and “The Wire” at number two, and how can you dispute those rankings? I can’t dispute it — because I never saw any of those shows, either. Not even a single episode.
It’s not that I don’t own a TV, or think I’m too sophisticated for popular shows that set the rest of the world on fire. I’m not one of those guys who turns his nose up at anything that doesn’t have PBS in its TV title. In fact, I’ve found myself addicted to some of the most mind-numbing dreck ever to hit the airwaves — “Survivor,” “Gold Rush,” and worse. According to Rolling Stone, my highest-ranked must-watch show is “American Idol,” at number 92, which just edged out one of my favorite shows of all time: “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” ranked at 93.
And it’s not that I didn’t know GoT existed. Ever since the first episode hit the air, people who know me best tell me that I would love that show, and that they thought of me when they first saw it. But then, it might just have been my table manners and personal grooming that brought me to mind.
I have always been a big fan of medieval-themed fantasy fiction like J.R.R. Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” and Ursula LeGuin’s “Wizard of Earthsea.” In fact, once upon a time, I taught a high school class in fantasy and science fiction, and I even wrote two young adult novels in that genre. So, yeah, this show sounded as if it sat right in my wheelhouse. And I’ve loved Peter Dinklage in every other role I’ve ever seen him play.
So I tuned in to that first episode when it aired, and at the end of the show I uttered a resounding: “Meh.”
I don’t know, it just seemed so bleak, dark, talky and…well, slow-moving. The nude scenes were sexy—though sometimes a bit rape-y and murder-y. Nothing about the premier episode made me long to see what happened next.
Over the next few years, I stayed away from it. Still, I heard nothing but good reviews about the show, so last year I thought I’d give it a try once more, even though I had by then missed dozens of episodes. But hey, I thought, there’s probably been a lot of character development by now, and plenty of plot lines to unravel. And there’s always that ubiquitous nudity.
But the episode I watched seemed steeped in primitive, medieval politics, with one ragged group struggling for power over some other foul-smelling faction, and willing to resort to any treachery, deceit, lies or chicanery to get it. And I thought: “Heck, I can see plenty of that on CNN.”
And so year after year, season after season, the show slipped past. “Winter is coming,” GoT fans said in breathless anticipation, but all I longed for was any other season.
And so now here I am, skating past the final season of one of the greatest shows of all time, just as I did for “Sopranos” and “The Wire.” And as I also did for “Mad Men,” and “Freaks and Geeks,” all shows that Rolling Stone ranks higher than GoT. I never saw a single episode of them, either.
But then, when it comes to popular culture, I’m that medieval guy lagging along somewhere far behind. It took me forever to move from vinyl records to cassette tapes, and then to CDs, and I’m just now starting to toy around with streaming music. I still don’t do Facebook, and I picked up a Kindle only a couple months ago.
So there’s GoT hope for me yet, though it will probably come long after this final season comes to an end.
That’s how it was for me with “Breaking Bad,” listed as number 3 on the “Rolling Stone” all-time list. I had not seen a single episode of that show while it was on the air, and just after it ended I binge-watched the entire five seasons over the course of a week, finding out what a great show I had been missing. When the strains of Badfinger’s “Baby Blue” echoed over the final minutes, I jumped to my feet and applauded, right there in front of the TV.
So, all my GoT friends out there, I’ll probably catch up with you sometime. It may take a while, but I’ll get there.
And if you see me sometime a year or two from now on some hot, sweaty summer day, muttering: “Winter is here,” please be gentle with me. I was once like you.
Author, musician and storyteller TR Kerth is a retired teacher who has lived in Sun City Huntley since 2003. Contact him at trkerth@yahoo.com. Can’t wait for your next visit to Planet Kerth? Then get TR’s book, “Revenge of the Sardines,” available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online book distributors.
