Q. My elderly mother recently had a doctor’s appointment that probably could have gone better. My mother is independent and capable, but she tends to downplay her ailments when speaking with the doctor. She does, however, call me to complain about how fast the appointment went. How can I help my mom prepare for her next doctor’s appointment so that she goes into it with greater confidence and competence?
A. Doctor’s visits can be nerve-racking, even if we’ve had the same doctor for years. Even though we mean to discuss particular health conditions, the short time we have with our doctor can leave us flustered. Here are a few tips to help prepare your mother for her next appointment.
Make sure she has her current insurance card, prescription card, and photo ID readily accessible. Front desk staff will often request to make a copy so that they can update their records.
Before her appointment, sit down together to write out a list of any health concerns you have. Be sure your mother communicates with the doctor about what is new health wise since her last visit. Keep it brief and specific.
Put together a list of all your mother’s current prescription medications, over-the-counter medications, and vitamins or supplements that she takes. Ensure that your mother brings this list with her. She could also bring a bag with all her medications. Work with your mom to keep this medication list updated after each doctor appointment.
Don’t forget to mention any emotional concerns your mother may have, such as feelings of loneliness or depression. These are real concerns that many older adults tend to keep private. However, these conditions are treatable and are nothing to be embarrassed about.
Encourage your mother to give honest answers to her doctor’s questions, and not what she thinks her doctor wants to hear. The doctor needs all the facts so that he or she can make an accurate diagnosis.
Ask your mother for permission to tag along to her next appointment. You can always step out for the actual exam part of the visit if she prefers privacy. Having another set of eyes and ears can ease the stress of your mother having to remember everything that is said. You can also gently mention facts she leaves out or concerns you have regarding her health.
If you can’t make it to her appointment, ask a friend or caregiver to go with her. If those aren’t options, call the office ahead of time and ask that a nurse takes notes during your mom’s appointment. She can take her own notes too, but this way you’ll have a clearer picture of her doctor’s recommendations.
If your mother wears glasses or hearing aids, ensure that she brings them (and wears them!) to her appointment. Remind her to ask the doctor to slow down if she can’t keep up with what he or she is saying. Sometimes doctors don’t realize that they’re using doctor jargon or speaking too quickly. It’s okay to ask for clarification.
Finally, in our digital age, most offices have online patient portals so that your mom can retrieve information about her medication, read notes from the doctor, and stay in communication with her doctor in between appointments. Ask your mom to pick up information from the office on how she can set up and access such an account.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com, or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
