Q. My family and I recently relocated to my husband’s hometown and are grateful to live within minutes of his grandparents. While it’s nice to be able to pop in with our little boys and visit them at the drop of a hat, seeing them slowly decline in health is bittersweet. Recently, we’ve noticed that they seem to have less and less energy and aren’t up for large crowds or long visits. Traditionally, they have been the crux for holiday gatherings. Every Christmas, the entire extended family gathers for dinner and presents at their home. Last year, they announced that they are no longer up for hosting such a large crew. This holiday season, they’ve seemed to have lost their holiday cheer. Do you have any tips or suggestions how we can brighten their holiday?
A. I empathize with you about your husband’s grandparents. It can be overwhelming to watch our loved ones age, especially when they’ve held such a prominent role in family tradition.
There are plenty of ways you can add a little holiday cheer to their lives. Offer to help them decorate their home. Just because they aren’t hosting doesn’t mean that they can’t enjoy their favorite holiday decorations. Stick to their favorite holiday treasures and keep it simple. As you decorate, spend time reminiscing about their favorite decorations. You could even surprise them by decorating a small tree that they can place on a tabletop.
Most older adults are accustomed to preparing holiday cards. Another way to add holiday cheer is to help them with this task. You can do this while listening to Christmas music. Remind your husband’s siblings and cousins to send cards to their grandparents to brighten their day. We quickly forget that not everyone has access to the photos we share on social media, so ask them to include a few pictures. Encourage older great-grandchildren to create homemade holiday cards to send them.
Another way to add more cheer is to organize video chats with family that doesn’t live nearby. Since it sounds like you’re able to pop in frequently, visit when you know your husband’s families are available to FaceTime or Duo.
Does your husband’s grandmother have a favorite cookie recipe? Pick up the ingredients and spend time baking together. If you’re short on time, buy some undecorated sugar cookies from a local grocery store and enjoy decorating them together. This is a great activity to do across multiple generations and would make for wonderful family photos.
Do they have special holiday dishes that they use for Christmas dinner? Ask to use them at the home of whomever is hosting this year. While the location might not be at their home, their dishes can still be used to carry on tradition.
Finally, spread cheer by including them in holiday events. Going to see Christmas lights? Offer to pick them up so they can tag along. Visiting Santa with your children? Bring great-grandma and grandpa along too and watch their eyes light up as they re-experience the magic of Christmas. Organize for the entire extended family to carol outside their home on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. Remember that although they might not have the energy to host a large family gathering, they still treasure each moment they have with their loved ones.
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