This “Covid 19 quarantine” that we are all going through has really been an eye-opener. I have discovered that my loving bride of almost 46 years is a total, raving, lunatic. We all know that she feels I’m the moron, but here is a little look into life with Nancy.
I don’t know what Jim is talking about. Life with me is all rainbows and unicorns. I bake cookies for him and he gives me grief!!! After years of trial and error, I have determined that each chocolate chip cookie must have exactly five chocolate chips. I mix up the dough, and when scooping them out, I place 2 chocolate chips in the scooper, grab some dough, and push the 3 remaining chips in. A perfect chocolate chip cookie, and it doesn’t seem crazy at all to me.
That is just one of Nancy’s quirks, let me elaborate. I have been toasting an “everything bagel” for her breakfast since her knee surgery in January. I ask her if she would like butter on it or a schmeer of cream cheese and chive. Her answer was both. So I mustered up all of my culinary skills and made her what I thought was a wonderful breakfast.
She did not share this sentiment with me. She didn’t tell me she wanted the cream cheese and chive on one side and butter on the other, so I put them together. I’ll try again tomorrow. The next day I put the cream cheese on the seeded half and buttered the bottom half, wrong again! Everyone knows you have to put the cream cheese and chive on the unseeded bottom since it has less flavor than the seeded top. I’ll try again tomorrow…
I stick to my guns; Jim is a moron. Who would put cream cheese and chive AND butter together??? Only a moron!!!
What does every woman do who is cooped up in the house? Find things to clean. There is no avenue of escape for me. Her attention focused on the cryogenic food vault we have in our garage. Let me explain. We have a 42-year-old Sears Kenmore upright non-defrosting freezer in a dark corner in our garage. It does have some batttle scars from the kids running into the door when they were learning how to drive.
Nancy says, “This is where I save Jim money.” When there is a sale on meats, I stock up the freezer. That’s Nancy’s point of view. The truth of the matter is the food in there is being freeze dried and preserved for future generations. Our best find to date was Ground Sirloin from 2017. That’s saving me money!!!
After listening to Jim complain about MY freezer, I said, “wouldn’t this be a nice time to clean out YOUR garage”? I proceeded to get rid of Jim’s valuable possessions, like his mus-have, expensive Ping golf clubs (he hasn’t golfed in 13 years), a Honda snow blower (that hasn’t been started in three years), and his collection of empty Cuban cigar boxes (?). We then proceeded to sweep out all the mummified critters from the corners, and our garage is sparkly clean and corpse free.
And now you know what we did during our “Shelter in Place” staycation! Stay safe and healthy.
Have comments or restaurant suggestions for the Dining Duo? Send them an email at thediningduo@gmail.com.
