Grief is a simple word used to sum up a not-so-simple experience. It is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
Dealing with the emotions and stress that come with loss can be the most trying thing an individual will ever experience.
That’s where Sun City’s Grief Support Group comes in. They state, “We are a group of widows and widowers offering understanding, empathy and social connection to those who have lost their spouses; whether you are new to loss or have been alone for some time.”
Pat Henning, a long-time member of the Grief Group, said, “All the clubs and groups had to close last March. We realized in May that there was a need for our group more than ever. Residents were losing people in their lives and had no coping mechanism available to them.”
Since the arrival of the coronavirus pandemic, many have experienced loss, sadness, anxiety, and grief.
Maureen Brinkman said, “We decided we needed to get together in May. We met in the driveway. We wore masks, shouted a little louder, and sat in a circle in chairs. We talked for two hours. We all decided that we need to do it again next week, and more residents came. Pretty soon we were having fifteen people come to the meetings and we needed a bigger place.”
Diana Gonzales said, “I offered my driveway and garage so we could safely meet. I have a three-car garage which we cleared and with a bigger driveway so we could safely accommodate everybody. You will often hear how losing a loved one changes you for the rest of your life. But only someone who has lost someone and gone through it can truly understand.”
A recommended action to take to help cope with feelings of grief after the loss of a loved one is connecting with other people. This was difficult during the pandemic. The group kept increasing and the Grief Group needed to find a bigger spot.
“We needed a bigger space to accommodate our group, but everything was closed. The weather was warmer, and we started looking around for outdoor places. We were very fortunate when the Huntley Park District let us use the Pavilion at the Betsey Warrington Park. They cleared out the benches and we brought our chairs and we were able to continue meeting and safely accommodate more people,” Henning said.
Gonzales said. “It was a very critical time because people had suffered. No one can help you through this. As kind as people are, the words that ring true are someone who can say I know how you feel. In the last two and half months, in my neighborhood alone, six households lost their partner in life.”
At any time, losing a loved one is a very difficult experience. You will hear individuals experience stages of grief and loss, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Brinkman said, “We knew that we had to continue meeting and offer structure and consistency. The cold weather came, and the lodge was not available to us. We charged minimal dues and could not afford to rent something on weekly basis.”
Henning said, “A restaurant offered us a meeting room which they kept sanitized and was big enough to social distance. Because of the restrictions placed on restaurants, they could not use the room, but offered it to us.”
However, nothing could stop this group from meeting its members needs.
Brinkman said, “We kept going. We needed each other. We are a family. The group pulls us together. Now, with restaurants opening, we again have found it difficult to meet. Our group meets at different places each week. We call and email to ensure that members know where we are meeting.”
Henning said, “We are hoping and asking for a room that can accommodate 20 members. We are calling and hoping again someone will answer our pleas.”
If anyone knows of an available space, please contact Pat Henning at 847-515-7878.
Gonzales said, “Our purpose is to help you. We understand. It took me a long time to stop crying whenever I talked about my husband. You can’t expect everything to be okay right away. No matter what relationship you had, you still suffer a void, a loss in your life. Everyone heals differently.”
After the death of someone you love, you experience bereavement. The loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and can cause a feeling of lost potential, unfulfilled dreams, and senseless suffering. The Grief Support Group can help. Please Contact Diana Gonzales at 847-515-2409 for meeting information.
