Q. My mom is in her early 70s and has been living with Parkinson’s for about four years. Her symptoms have progressed from the mild stage to the more moderate stage. I’ve noticed her shuffling more, and her movements have definitely slowed. I’m fortunate to live nearby so that I can assist her. However, I have a full-time job and my own family to care for, and I cannot always drive to her house when she needs help. As her symptoms progress, I worry about her safety and well-being. I want to help more but have limited experience with caregiving. Do you have any tips to help me?
A. I commend you for your dedication to your mother. Caring for our aging loved ones can be challenging, especially when they have a progressive disease. Here are a few tips to enable you to become a better caregiver.
First, I highly recommend that you join a Parkinson’s caregiver support group. Support groups exist to educate and encourage those facing similar experiences. They are safe places to vent feelings of frustration and learn more about the disease and methods to approach care. Search online or ask your mother’s doctor for recommendations. Many hospitals offer disease-specific support groups too.
Next, recognize your personal limitations. Set clear boundaries now with your mom so that you have room in your life to attend to your personal responsibilities. Caregivers are notorious for neglecting themselves to provide care for others. When you put off your own needs for too long, you put your own health at risk, as well as are in danger of fostering feelings of resentment.
While you’re providing care, remember to take it slow. Give yourself and your mom plenty of time to complete tasks. Understand that she can’t control her movements (or lack of movement). Create a schedule that works for both of you.
Choose clothing that she can put on and take off with ease, such as pants with elastic waistbands and shirts that she can slip her arms in and out of. Seek recommendations for appropriate adaptive equipment from her doctor or therapy team.
Encourage your mom to participate in her care as much as possible. She should also stay engaged with her favorite activities as long as possible. If she sees an occupational therapist, ask for recommendations on ways to adapt her favorite activities so she can continue to participate.
As your mom’s care needs evolve, discuss the possibility of hiring a senior home care company to assist the two of you. You can still care for your mom with the support of a professional home care company. A professional caregiver can help with more heavy-duty care, such as bathing and dressing, while you assist with meal preparation or laundry. Home care also allows you to step away so that you can focus on your personal life. You can experience peace of mind knowing that your mom is safe and in good hands when you personally can’t be present.
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