Don’t mess with seniors

Jim and Nancy do not disclose the fact that they will review a restaurant before they attend, ensuring their reviews are unbiased and uninfluenced by their position with the Sun Day.

Nancy’s purse can be compared to a black hole in outer space. What goes in, never comes out, and no one is really sure what’s inside of one. We wanted to go out for lunch but our finances were running low. Nancy said she knew she had gift cards somewhere, so she asked me to check her purse while she was rummaging through the kitchen junk drawer. I ventured forth, and boldly went where no man has gone before, his wife’s purse. Lo and behold, I found three $25 gift cards to Lettuce Entertain You Restaurants from two years ago nestled beneath the Kleenex and Lifesavers. We gathered up our new found booty, and headed off to Shaw’s Crab House in Schaumburg.

We arrived at 12:25 and noticed the parking lot was quite empty. We went in and said we’d like a table for two. The hostess asked us if we had a reservation and Nancy said, “no.” The hostess replied, “the only place I can seat you is outdoors.” By outdoors she meant under a tent on the black top parking lot. Not being a fan of eating seafood outdoors when it is 85 plus degrees, we said “no thank you” and walked out.

We made our arduous journey of 10 feet to our car, sat inside and Nancy called Shaw’s for a reservation. The same hostess answered while Nancy politely asked for a 12:30 or 12:45 reservation. The hostess politely replied, “I can seat you at 12:45,” and the reservation was made.

We sat in our car for 10 minutes, then walked back in. Nancy went up to the same hostess and said, “12:45 reservation for Nancy Eggers”. The hostess acted like she never saw us before. We were quickly escorted to our table and sat down. Score one for the seniors!!!

Nancy loves their Signature Seafood Salad ($30). This is Alaskan king crab, jumbo shrimp, Maine lobster, hearts of palm, avocado, tomato, cucumber, egg, black olives, scallions, Louis dressing, Italian vinaigrette, and croutons. This was a tasty seafood salad, although it was heavy on the salad and light on the seafood, but it was only $30.

Jim loves their New England Lobster Roll ($29). It consisted of Maine Lobster, mayonnaise, celery, and served with fries and a “ketchup cup” size of coleslaw. He added the Lobster Bisque Soup ($8) for us to share. The lobster bisque came out in what seemed to be a coffee cup. I’m still mad at Jim for eating the one and only lonely morsel of lobster it contained. But it was only $8.

We started adding up our bill in our heads to make sure we will use up all of our gift card money. Nancy then asked the annoyed waitress if she had any birthday money or any frequent diner points on her membership card. She took our information and proceeded to look up her account. Score two for the seniors!!!

My birthday money on the account “disappeared” during COVID, but I still have 2 points left on my account which will maybe give me a free toothpick. Surprisingly, we weren’t full and decided to throw caution to the wind and ordered the Key Lime Pie ($9) for dessert. This was made with almond and graham cracker crust, topped with homemade whip cream. We shared it and agreed it was delicious and refreshing, and it was only $9.

The bill for what will probably be our last lunch at Shaw’s was $94.02. This included a 10½ percent Schaumburg tax and a 3 percent “processing fee.” We are not sure what they would be processing since the price was the same for either cash or charge. It stated on the bill this could be removed upon request.

Jim called the waitress over so we can pay our bill and he handed her three gift cards and his credit card. We all know how much waitress’ love to process gift cards. Score three for the seniors!!!

As she was walking away all the cards fell to the floor. While she was picking them up, Nancy leaned over her chair and said, “by the way, please remove the three percent processing fee.” Score another point for us seniors!!!

Lunch . . . $94, is that three percent fee of $2.45 really necessary???

To sum it up, the food is very good, but lose the arrogance. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just tell us to wait for ten minutes and a table would be ready? Don’t mess with seniors!!!

FYI: This restaurant is handicap accessible.

Jim’s take: I really used to like this restaurant, but at my age, I don’t need the mind games.

Nancy’s take: This was one of my favorite restaurants, Jim even had my 60th birthday party there. Thanks for the memories Shaw’s…

Have comments or restaurant suggestions for the Dining Duo? Send them an email at: thediningduo@gmail.com

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