Q. I’m writing to seek some advice and guidance regarding a situation with my mother. She recently moved into an assisted living facility, and while I thought this change would benefit her quality of life, I’m concerned about her well-being.
When we visit, she seems content, but I can’t shake the feeling that she might be experiencing loneliness and withdrawing from social interactions. She seems uninterested in participating in group activities and spends most of her time in her room. She’s always been introverted, but this seems different. I love my mom dearly and it was a difficult decision for us all to move her to assisted living.
What can I do to help her in this transition? Should I push her to participate in activities or respect her desire for solitude? Are there any strategies I can use to gently nudge her toward socializing without making her feel uncomfortable?
A. Transitioning to assisted living can be a significant adjustment, especially for someone who values their independence and solitude. You are not alone in facing this challenging situation. Here are a few steps you can take to support your mother during this transition.
First, it’s essential to respect your mother’s autonomy and preferences. It sounds like she’s always been introverted so she might find comfort and contentment spending time alone. Consider how she spent her time before she moved to assisted living. Did she spend most of her time alone, but engaged at home? Families often expect their loved ones to immediately participate in all the amazing programs and events senior living communities provide. However, it’s important to note that if your mom wasn’t much of a joiner before the move, she’s likely not going to change her personality now.
She’s also likely still adjusting to her new surroundings. It may take time for her to establish a routine and become more open to engaging with others. Encourage her to eat meals in the common dining room so she can meet other residents. Once she feels comfortable, she might be more open to participating in group activities with her new friends.
Another way you can help your mom in this time of transition is to help her build connections with other residents and staff. Have dinner with your mom in the main dining room and sit with other residents who share similar interests. Share your mom’s interests with the staff so they can help her find programs or activities that are appealing to her.
Lastly, if your mom continues to keep to herself, perhaps she would benefit from a private companion caregiver. Many home care companies offer companionship services for seniors who are lonely. Home care can be provided wherever your mom calls home, including assisted living facilities. Your mom might appreciate one-on-one attention and enjoy more freedom with a private caregiver. Her caregiver could take her out to run errands or see a movie, or they could play games in her apartment or go for a walk around the facility. Above all, a companion caregiver can keep an eye out for signs of loneliness or isolation and provide additional support if needed.
In the end, the most crucial thing is that your mom feels loved, respected, and supported, whether she chooses to socialize more or prefers solitude. Wishing you and your mother all the best as you navigate this journey together.
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