Q. I’m writing for advice regarding a situation that has arisen in my family. Recently, my parents started home care, and we welcomed a new caregiver into our lives. As their daughter, I’m eager to facilitate a positive and meaningful relationship between my parents and their caregiver.
My parents have always been independent, and accepting help was not an easy decision for them. However, we all realized that they needed some support to ensure their safety and well-being, especially since they desire to remain in their own home.
Their new caregiver is a warm and compassionate person who genuinely seems to care for my parents’ well-being. I believe that a strong bond between them will not only enhance the quality of care but will also bring companionship and joy into my parents’ lives.
However, I’m aware that building this new connection might take time, especially as my parents adjust to having someone new in their home. What can I do to help foster a positive relationship between my parents and their caregiver?
A. Thank you for reaching out to me with your concerns about fostering a positive relationship between your parents and their new caregiver. It’s evident that you care deeply for your parents and want to ensure that this transition is as smooth and comfortable as possible.
You’ve already recognized that the adjustment to having a caregiver can be a significant change for your parents. It’s normal for them to feel a mix of emotions as they cope with the reality that they need help, especially since they’ve been independent for so long. Being patient, empathetic, and understanding during this process can make a world of difference. Let them know it’s okay to have mixed emotions about this change and that their feelings are valid and respected.
Encouraging interactions between your parents and their caregiver can be achieved through shared activities and outings. Consider planning activities that align with your parents’ interests and preferences. Whether it’s playing a game together, enjoying a meal, or going for a walk, shared experiences can create opportunities for meaningful connections.
Along those lines, ensure your parents have the necessary supplies that will allow them to engage in shared activities with their caregiver. Purchase games, art supplies, ingredients for their favorite recipe, or other materials that align with your parents’ interests. Leave these items on the counters and write a brief note explaining what you purchased for their caregiver to read.
Another way to foster a positive relationship between your parents and their caregiver is to share your parents’ interests with their caregiver. Create a document that lists your mom and dad’s favorite foods, television shows, books, hobbies, games, stores, sports teams, how they take their coffee, and other interests and preferences. This helps their caregiver to get to know your parents better and can guide their caregiver as they engage in conversation.
As your parents and their caregiver spend more time tighter, they will likely find common ground and develop rapport. Encourage your parents to enjoy casual conversations with their caregiver. Remind them to invite their caregiver to join them for a cup of coffee so they can get to know one another as individuals. Remember, building strong relationships takes time and effort from all parties. With time and encouragement, your parents and their caregiver are likely to form a strong bond.
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