Getting into hot water

Blame the cold of January or the bleak sun-less days that zap me of my energy and motivation, but I have become a full-time seeker of pleasures. Throughout the day, I’ll do what I need to do, whether it’s work or household chores, but if I don’t have a carrot dangling right before my nose, then what is it all for? Sure, I’ll vacuum the house, as long as afterwards, I can treat myself to a decadent cookie laced with chocolate. I’ll fold the laundry, but as soon as I’m done I’m settled on the couch to watch an episode of my favorite show. I’ll edit some boring documents for work, but what I’m really thinking about is getting into my pajamas as soon as I get home. My entire existence has become a gluttonous game of quid pro quo. 

Then it arrived: the be-all-end-all instrument of gluttony and pleasure seeking. A hot tub! I blinked at it, afraid that it was too good to be true. The poor delivery man, clearly exhausted by the extra hours and miles he’d been logging before the holidays, knew it was for real, judging by the way he schlepped up to my front door. He was happy to drop his burden onto our driveway.

This hot tub had been a promise I made to myself years ago. I distinctly remember being at a friend’s house when I was in high school — more than 30 years ago! — and we sat together in their hot tub, overlooking snow-covered pine trees in the backyard. My friend’s father brought out a tray of champagne flutes to us, and ceremoniously handed us each a sparkling glass of Cherry 7-UP. It was all too much for me. I was glimpsing the kind of life I wanted for myself, a life of calm and relaxation, with someone handing me a champagne flute of something sparkly. That’s when I vowed to myself that someday, I too, would own a hot tub.

We say these things to ourselves, like “someday, when I win an Oscar” or, “after I’ve become a New York Times bestselling author,” and we wink as we say it because we know we are really pushing it, thinking these dreamy successes will come to pass. Monday through Friday, we pay the bills and mow the lawn and call the plumber and walk the dog and make casseroles and buy more toothpaste. We mostly just try to get through today, without allowing ourselves to dream of someday.

Because I come from a long line of penny-pinchers, a hot tub was the height of non-essential items. It seemed so luxurious! It was something other people had, but not me!

But now, I’m a newly-christened hot tub lady. Thirty-plus years after my high school self-promised that someday, luxury would be mine, it has come to pass. 

I’ve gone from being a woman who detests putting on a bathing suit to a woman who happily throws on her suit each and every evening, and sometimes mornings, too! The thought of walking out my back door with only a thin layer of Lycra in 30-degree weather seemed impossible until recently. Now, I welcome the blast of cold air during the short walk across my deck until I can dip first my feet, then my legs, and finally submerge my shoulders into the decadent 102-degree water.

It is my newfound hunger for luxury that got me to this place, but the side benefits are many. Having time in the calming waters, either alone or with my husband, has become a sacred space for us, whether we’re catching up on the day or just sitting together in silence. Cold winter air fills the lungs, in poetic contrast to the womb-like shroud of the spa. Distractions like phones or other fidgety things that block focus aren’t welcome here. 

The hot tub demands all your attention, which is probably why “hot tubbing” is a verb. 

I emerge from the hot tub in a state of renewal. It is a baptism of sorts, this new nightly ritual that is trying to train my body to release worries and anxiety instead of my usual method of clenching my jaw, tightening my shoulders, and bouncing my leg up and down. Somewhere along the line, I learned to hold my anxiety instead of releasing it, and now it’s a habit I’m willing to break. The stress and worry dissolve in the water; my back and shoulders are no longer made of knots. I am a full-time seeker of pleasures and I’ve just received a promotion and a bonus all at once. I’ve won the luxury lottery. I’m up to my ears in hot water, and it’s no trouble at all.

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