When I saw shoes left by a loved one who had passed on, I felt sudden grief.
I wondered why it was their shoes that triggered a surprisingly flood of tears. It wasn’t until my mother died that I realized why. My mother was a visionary with many dreams. Unfortunately, her dreams never came true. She ended up in a one-bedroom government subsidized apartment. Regardless of her poor circumstances she always found a way of making her apartment look quite nice. She had a flare for decorating and would make something beautiful from the little she had to work with. The day came when we had to clean out her apartment. When it came to cleaning out her tiny closet, I was amazed at all the shoes she kept through the years. I remembered those shoes, and thought that she should have gotten rid of them a long time ago. Then it came to me. I think those shoes gave her hope for a better life, and in some odd way, keeping them was a way of never letting go of her dreams. When she wanted to lose weight and get healthy, she’d purchase many athletic shoes to work out in. Then I found many high heels with beautiful sparkles on them. I remember when she’d wear them to go dancing in her younger days. Then I found clunky old shoes with paint on them. She wore them when she went to art class, she always dreamed of becoming an accomplished artist. No matter how old my mother got she never gave up hope of having a better life.
As I kept digging through her shoes that seemed endless, I thought to myself, why did she hang onto all those shoes when she no longer had the lifestyle to wear them. Perhaps by keeping them she was reminded of the enthusiasm she felt when wearing them. Each shoe represented chapters of her life filling her heart with happy memories. When I think of the legacy my mother left me, it’s much better than riches. The encouragement she gave me is like a gift I hold deep within my heart. It is to believe in my myself, have a dream, set goals, do the work, and never give up like she did, or else I might be looking at a bunch of tired old shoes myself while drowning in a sea of regrets.
Jo Anne Marie Amato
Sun City resident
