Q. I am reaching out to seek your expertise and guidance regarding the care and well-being of my aging parents. As my parents are getting older, I find myself increasingly concerned about their health, safety, and overall quality of life. While I strive to support them to the best of my ability, I recognize that I don’t always know what I’m doing.
The biggest area of concern is navigating the complexities of healthcare for my parents. They’re beginning to encounter age-related health issues and chronic conditions, and I feel overwhelmed by the numerous medical appointments, treatment, and medications involved. Do you have any advice to help me streamline this process and ensure that my parents receive the comprehensive care they deserve? The second area of concern involved long-term planning and decision making for my parents’ future. I know my dad is on top of this and I want to respect my parents’ autonomy. I also want to ensure that they’ve thought everything through. In your opinion, what long-term plans should I ensure my parents have made?
A. Thank you for reaching out and entrusting me with your concerns. It’s commendable that you are seeking ways to ensure your parents’ well-being. I want to reassure you that you are not alone and that your concerns are common among adult children with aging parents.
I understand your overwhelmed feelings regarding healthcare. It can be challenging to stay on top of medications, routine and follow-up appointments, lab work, and treatment plans. I suggest you consider establishing one comprehensive care plan in collaboration with your parents’ healthcare providers. This plan can outline their medical conditions, needs, treatments, and medications. Take their care plan to each individual appointment so that all of their doctors are on the same page and keep it updated.
Another suggestion is to create a calendar strictly for your parents’ healthcare needs. Use your favorite calendar app or a paper calendar to track appointments and to note when they started new medications or therapies. This will help you stay organized as well as allow you to observe physical, cognitive, or emotional changes that may be related to changes in medications.
In terms of long-term planning, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about their wishes for their future. Even though your dad has told you that they’ve made necessary arrangements, it’s important for you to know what arrangements they’ve made and any preferences they have for their future. At the very least, your dad should inform you where he keeps their important legal documents that contain this information. As difficult as it can be to bring up this topic of conversation, I feel strongly that it’s essential and can help to give you peace of mind. Ensure that your parents have made adequate financial plans, that they both have updated wills and advance directives, and have explored housing options that align with their preferences. Consulting with a financial planner or elder law attorney can provide invaluable assistance in this regard.
I hope these suggestions provide some guidance as you navigate the journey of caregiving for your aging parents. Remember, you’re not alone and there are resources and professionals available to support you every step of the way.
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