Q. Hi there, Iām reaching out because I find myself in a bit of a dilemma and could use some guidance. Iām a grandfather who eagerly awaits the summer months when my family comes to visit. We live quite a distance apart, so we only get to see each other about twice a year. Itās a precious time for me, especially since I get to spend time with my grandson, whoās now in his early teens, around 14 years old.
In the past, when my grandson was younger, we used to have the most wonderful adventures together. Weād play games, tell jokes, and do all those silly things that boys do. Those moments are etched in my memory, and I hold to them tightly.
But lately, Iāve noticed a change. My grandson has gotten a phone, and heās constantly glued to it whenever weāre together. He responds with one-word answers when I try to engage in conversation, and he declines my invitation to play a game. I understand that technology is a big part of his life now, and I also acknowledge that heās growing into a young man. But I canāt help but feel a little saddened by the lack of connection we seem to have during our visits.
How can I encourage my grandson to put down his phone without overstepping?
A. I appreciate your letter and am encouraged by your desire to strengthen your bond with your grandson. Itās evident how much you care about your relationship with him. Here are a few words of encouragement.
First, I commend you for recognizing the importance of adapting to the changes in your grandsonās life, including his newfound attachment to his phone. While I recognize with you the valuable role technology plays in our lives, it doesnāt mean that meaningful connections with loved ones should take a backseat.
One approach you might consider is having an open and honest conversation with your grandson about your feelings. Let him know how much you value the time you spend together and how important it is for you to create lasting memories with him. Express your desire to engage in activities that you both enjoy and suggest setting aside designated āphone-freeā periods during your visits.
You could also try finding common interests you can explore together. While your grandson may enjoy spending time on his phone, there may still be activities that capture his attention. Whether itās a shared love for sports, a fascination with nature, or a mutual interest in a particular hobby, finding common ground can help strengthen your connection.
Itās also important to be patient and understanding. Building and maintaining relationships takes time and effort, especially when navigating generational differences. Keep the lines of communication open. Ask your grandson to teach you how to use certain features on your phone, such as FaceTime, so that you can maintain a connection when he’s back home. Be willing to meet him halfway to find the balance between screen time and quality time together.
Remember, the most precious moments are often the ones shared in the simplest of ways, through laughter, conversation, and the warmth of companionship. Your grandson is fortunate to have a grandpa who cares so deeply about his well-being, and I do not doubt that youāll find meaningful ways to connect with him this summer.
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