Q. I’m struggling to help my wife, who has dementia, get the nutrition she needs. She has little to no appetite most days, and I suspect her medications may be playing a role. Unfortunately, she needs them, so stopping or adjusting them isn’t really an option.
She’s losing weight, and I worry about her energy levels and overall health. I’ve tried offering her favorite foods, smaller meals, and even nutritional drinks, but nothing seems to make much of a difference. Some days, she eats a little, but other days, it’s like she just has no interest in food at all.
I don’t want mealtime to become a battle or another source of stress for her — or for me. I just want to find a way to encourage her to eat without overwhelming her. Do you have any advice on how to help her get the nutrients she needs while keeping things as easy and positive as possible?
A. First, let me say how much I admire your care and concern for your wife. Dementia can bring so many challenges, and appetite loss is a common one — especially when medications are involved. You’re absolutely right to want to avoid making mealtime stressful, but there are a few gentle strategies that might help encourage her to eat.
You’re correct to try smaller meals. Continue to do this, offering small portions throughout the day. Most of us are used to three square meals a day. However, when dementia is in the picture, set meal times can be a challenge. Remember that a few bites here and there throughout the day can add up to a sufficient caloric intake.
Another suggestion is to offer easy-to-eat, high-calorie foods to help your wife get the nutrients she needs. Finger foods, like cheese cubes, fruit slices, or peanut butter on crackers, might feel less overwhelming than a full plate of food. Smoothies or yogurt with added protein can also be a good way to sneak in extra calories.
If her medications are affecting her appetite, try offering food at different times around her medications. Maybe a light meal before she takes her pills or a snack an hour afterward could help make food more appealing.
The last suggestion is to make sure the environment is welcoming around mealtimes. Soft music, familiar smells, and eating together may help make mealtimes more inviting for your wife. Sitting together and sharing a meal can encourage her to take a few bites. As you eat, reminisce about your younger days. Focus less on how much she’s eating and more on enjoying the time with your wife. This shift in attention can help reduce some of the stress you’re feeling, which can, in turn, alleviate her stress levels as well.
If she continues losing weight or struggling to eat, it might be worth speaking with her doctor about appetite stimulants or alternative ways to support her nutrition. Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. You’re doing an incredible job, and even the smallest efforts show her how much you love and care for her.
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