Less house, more home

It was 2015, we were in the middle of a pay freeze, and our life was generally chaotic with four little kids, a floppy-eared puppy, and a house that always seemed to need fixing. Toys were everywhere, our savings account was barely worth mentioning, and we hadn’t taken a decent vacation in years.

There were nights I couldn’t sleep, worrying how we would pay for school fees and music lessons and clothing for our children. Something had to change. 

Ten years ago next month, we made a big change: we moved into a house half the size of our previous home. 

People thought we were crazy. Maybe we were! We downsized in a major way, tossing out all the unnecessary stuff we had accumulated over the years. We kept the things we loved, the things that were useful, and the things that were beautiful. Everything else got the boot. Disney’s Frozen was popular at the time, and our 7-year-old got in on the fun, placing toys in the give-away box while singing, “Let it go, let it goooo …”

If I were writing our family history, there would be two distinct sections: “Before the Cozy Cottage” and “After the Cozy Cottage.” That’s what we’ve nicknamed our house. We bought it from a sweet English woman who had created beautiful gardens in the front and back yard. After we signed the papers, we walked through the house and found small trinkets she had left us: a bowl on the counter filled with candy, a cute little row of houses arranged on a tiny shelf, a hand-knitted dish cloth folded neatly beside the sink.

Gradually, the house became ours. However, I firmly believe that it is the house that is taking care of us, not the other way around.

What I’ve Learned

Ten years later, I can say that I’ve never once regretted downsizing. I’ve never missed the many, many things we gave away and sold. What we lacked in things, we more than made up for in experiences. For example: 

Our kids played with their toys even more after we got rid of the excess, because we only kept their favorites. 

Listening to the pre-bedtime giggles from across the hall in the room my kids shared is a treasured memory for me.

I still tend to buy and collect too much “stuff,” but our limited space forces me to take stock and purge the non-essentials on a regular basis.

Less house means less housework.

Instead of retreating to our separate quarters, we spend more time together as a family.

Worrying about money all the time is a lot harder on our bodies than we realize. Cutting the house payments in half was good for my sleep, my aching clenched jaw, and overall health.

You don’t need a huge house to entertain guests. Food, friendship, and conversation can be enjoyed in small spaces, too. 

Vacations are much more enjoyable when you don’t need to go into debt to take them.

Quality is better than quantity. Glib, I know, but in this case, very true. Instead of lots of cheap stuff to fill the space, we carefully select items we bring in.

People think you’ve completely gone off the deep end. Some might not see that as an advantage, but I do. Keep people guessing. Defy the rules! Ten years ago, a woman asked me, “Only two bedrooms? What, do you sleep in shifts?” I still think about this and the amusing image of half our family waking up, just as the other half drowsily pass us in the hall, preparing to take our spot for their “rotational sleep session.” It could be a Roald Dahl story!

Children are children for a short time. One by one, our kids have grown up and moved out to start their own lives, and our Cozy Cottage is feeling more and more like a sprawling estate. I’ve heard people use the term “right-size” instead of “downsize,” and maybe that’s more fitting. It was a choice that isn’t for everyone, but for us it marked a new appreciation for simple things, valuing experiences over stuff, and living an example for our kids: that happiness and contentment don’t have to come with a large price tag or a looming balance on a credit card. 

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