Nothing in life is free. Thatās a true enough statement, isnāt it? If you donāt pay with dollars, you pay with the rest of your life. You ever borrow money from a family member? Thatās fun.
However, there is one thing in life thatās free: found money.
Of course, we have to define āfound moneyā first. Found money is money that has no indication of where it came from. Itās not in a wallet or purse (which are totally different scenarios) or a money bag with the bankās information stamped on it (a completely different scenario). And itās not such a large sum that you may have to report the find to the authorities. And, no, money you saw fall out of someoneās pocket doesnāt count either. Found money is also not money that was or is yours. You didnāt find it in the pocket of a winter coat, in your couch cushions, under the driverās seat in your car, or in the wash (although, my mother made a good supplementary income from the latter for years). Basically, found money is loose and lonely bills or change circulating only by wind or rain. And found money is free.
A few weeks after I turned 30, I found a dollar bill on the ground. Major find! As, at the time (and for about the decade leading up), I didnāt, as my father likes to say, have two nickels to rub together. I never found paper money on the ground either. Coming out of a bowling alley with my sister, I found an FBI agentās badge when I was kidāTHRILLINGābut there was no money with it. And, as I found, authorities donāt offer rewards for lost items, despite what their posters say.
I pocketed the dollar quickly, before the wind took it, half-expecting someone to say, āHey, thatās mine.ā
When I got home, I looked at the dollar. It was minted in 2006 and was the easiest money I ever made. It was free. And that gave me an idea. I planned to start saving any free money I found to see how much it would amount to. I had no timeframe for this experiment other than the vague idea that I would keep it up the rest of my life!
As of now, I have found a total of $2.24. And remember, one dollar of that was found in one find. One dollar bill, three quarters, one dime, five nickels, and 14 pennies is what Iāve stumbled across in almost three years. Thatās about $.75 per year. What a living! If this was my way of saving up for a nest egg and I retired at 65, Iād have $24 to live the rest of my life on. Not bad for 2,000 years ago!
Iām sorry to say that Iāve become quite cynical over the years and would say that this fortune is about what I expected, proving with doubt that nothing of any real value in life is free. And found money hardly counts, because itās about as resilient to adding up as your accounts at tax time.
I thought this until at a recent family get-together I told my brother that I saved free money to see how much (or little) it added up to. I even presented him with a shiny nickel I found just on the way over to support my claim that you canāt find much.
My brother looked at me, a little astonished, and then proceeded to tell me that in the years heās been looking for free money, heās found more than $3,000, claiming that heās found a couple hundred in one find a couple different times!
At my rate, it would take me 4,000 years to find $3,000!
āYouāre looking in the wrong places,ā said my brother and explained you can find about $9 when snow piles that had been plowed thaw and melt, and a small fortune at toll booths, if you only open your door and lean out. I knew the latter, but I have I-Pass and havenāt driven through a coin-operated toll booth recently.
Regardless, I was still astonished at my brotherās luck and considered him just that, lucky. I told myself that it didnāt happen for everyone and that surely the rate at which I find money is more normal. But my sister-in-law (the wife of my other brother) dispelled that right away when, overhearing the conversation, she told me my other brother has also found a bit of a small fortune.
I couldnāt believe it. Both my brothers, who are both much more successful in life, are raking in thousands in free money, and here I am scraping by on pennies. Talk about bad luck!
But then my sister-in-law told me the secret to my brotherās success.
āHe walks with his head down,ā she joked. Then added, āSee, I donāt. I walk with my head up and donāt find anything. Of course, Iām always the one who steps in $!#@.ā
Me too.
Until next edition, I bid you Happy Trails and good fortune at your feet. Just be mindful of the other stuff, if youāre not watching where youāre going.