Q. With Veteran’s Day approaching, I struggle each year on how to teach the significance of the day to my teenaged children. My dad, their grandfather, served in the military. He lives locally, so we usually take him out to dinner or stop by his home for a visit on Veteran’s Day. While I think he appreciates my intentions, I feel like I’m not doing enough to educate my children and to show our sincere appreciation for his service. What suggestions do you have in regard to how we, as a family, can show gratitude for his service? Any tips on how to get through to my teenagers about the significance of Veteran’s Day?
A. Thank you for your questions. I applaud you for being proactive in teaching your children about Veteran’s Day and the significance of the holiday. I’m pretty sure you are getting through to your teenagers, even though they’re less likely to express themselves, at least to their parents.
I’m also confident that your dad feels appreciated, especially on Veteran’s Day. It sounds like you’ve developed rich traditions to honor him on the holiday, and I’m sure he looks forward to your visits. Here are a few additional suggestions to consider, especially as your children mature into adulthood.
Prior to Veteran’s Day, visit a local museum that expands on the history of our military. It could be a museum specific to a branch of the military, or one that explores a particular war era. This is great way to educate your teenagers while it not feeling like they’re receiving another lecture from you. When you visit the museum, give them freedom to explore. Try to avoid talking the entire time. Let them ask questions and point facts out to you. If possible, ask your dad to come along and encourage your kids to ask him questions.
After this experience, ask your kids to write a simple thank you note to your dad for his time in the military. This gives them privacy and space to express their gratitude in their own words.
Perhaps it’s time for your teens to learn more about what your dad’s military experience was like. If your dad has been hesitant to share in the past, because your kids were too little, encourage him to share stories. Recognize that this might be difficult for him, but perhaps there are a few stories that aren’t painful. Focus on boot camp, pranks he and his mates pulled, everyday life, and how he entered the military. Encourage your children to ask questions or start the conversation with what you know. Say something like, “Did Grandpa ever tell you about the prank he and his military pals pulled on his ranking officer?”
Continue to visit your dad and take him out to dinner. Also ask him how he prefers to celebrate Veteran’s Day. Perhaps there’s a parade he marches in each year, plan to attend it with your family. Ensure that his flag is displayed on Veteran’s Day and is in excellent condition. Sometimes the best way to show appreciation is to give the gift of our time. Make a date for just the two of you to go out for breakfast. Find a restaurant that offers a free meal to veterans and take him there.
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