Q. My wife of 51 years is battling cancer. She was in remission for a couple of years, but the cancer has come back in full force. While she hasn’t said she’s ready to give up her fight with cancer, her current treatment plan has taken a toll on her entire personhood. She’s exhausted, emotional, and losing weight. Caring for her has become a burden for our adult children and me. A friend of mine talked to me about his experience with hospice for his wife when she went through a similar terminal diagnosis. He said he wished he would have enrolled his wife in hospice much sooner instead of waiting until the very end. I’m interested in learning more about hospice and how it might benefit my wife.
A. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s battle with cancer. Caring for a loved one with a terminal diagnosis is challenging, as you’re well aware. Fortunately, there is a special kind of care that offers dignity, respect and focuses on quality of life for people with terminal illnesses. This is the core value of hospice care. Hospice services offer compassionate care for people in the end stages of their life so that they may live as comfortably and peacefully as possible.
November is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month. What may come as a surprise to many is that hospice care isn’t just for people in the final days of their lives. It’s focused on providing care for people who have a life expectancy of six months or less. While hospice care does provide care and support through the dying process, at the heart of hospice is supporting a person so they can live their best possible life in the time they have remaining.
Pain management is the primary goal of hospice. The hospice care team is trained to recognize nonverbal cues of pain, especially in cases where the patient may be unable to communicate their pain level. In addition to medication, alternative pain management techniques are also practiced in hospice care, such as music therapy, massage, and essential oils.
Another surprise to many is that hospice care isn’t just for the patient. The hospice care team is comprised of a variety of people, including a physician, nurse, hospice aide, social worker, volunteers, a chaplain, and bereavement specialist. Each role supports both patient and family member.
A significant benefit of hospice care for family members is peace of mind, knowing that a trained professional is assisting your loved one in managing their pain and symptoms. Other benefits include respite care, which gives family members a break, emotional and spiritual support, wisdom, and relief. Because hospice care provides hands-on care (such as assistance with toileting, bathing, and dressing), family members can return to their role as husband or child.
Although your wife may not be ready to give up her fight, I recommend that you and your children have a candid conversation with her about her quality of life. If she has been given a life expectancy diagnosis of six months or less, with little hope in her treatment plan, she could greatly benefit from hospice care. Starting sooner rather than later will only allow your wife to live her best life with her remaining time.
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