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Venturing into Vege-sorta-terianism

By Carol Pavlik

Last night I tried a new recipe for dinner: Vegan Sloppy Joes.

The ā€œveganā€ part of the recipe went straight out the window the moment I decided a trip to the grocery store for vegetable stock was out of the question: the beef stock in my cabinet would have to do.

This is precisely why Iā€™ll never embrace veganism. Iā€™m simply too lazy and donā€™t have the discipline required.

But vegetarianism? My fickle stomach might have the discipline to pull that off, at least for a while. For the past month or so, weā€™ve introduced meatless lasagna, meatless pizza, and veggie soups into our menu rotation, with no complaints. Weā€™ve upped our salad game, too. Crunchy embellishments to sprinkle over the top make greens much more appetizing.

I married a wholesome, meat-eating, corn-fed Nebraska boy who enjoys his meat and potatoes. But weā€™re not in our twenties anymore, and itā€™s time to take better care of ourselves.Ā 

Our kids were introduced to the notion of meat sweats at an early age, sitting at the dinner table after a lavish steak dinner. (ā€œMomma, why is Daddy sweating?ā€) It turns out meat sweats are not a recognized medical condition, but they are real, nonetheless. I have both witnessed and experienced meat sweats more than a few times. Turns out a lot of heat is generated while youā€™re metabolizing all that protein.

Since I was already googling ā€œmeat sweats,ā€ I decided to google meat consumption in the U.S. The USDA reports that American consume an average of 57 pounds of beef per person per year.

Fifty-seven pounds. Of. Beef.

In 2021, Americans consumed 68.1 pounds of chicken per person.

Thatā€™s a lot of meat sweats. I donā€™t have the stomach to google how many pounds of pork Americans typically eat a year, given the ubiquity of bacon. Youā€™ll have to hunt that information down for yourself.

Back when we were newly married, we lived in the shadow (or should I say beneath the stench) of a giant feedlot for beef cattle. A nearly undetectable shift in the wind pattern could make the difference between a normal day and a day marinated in toxic odors, a smell so pungent that it permeates your clothing, hair, and on really bad days, your taste buds.

Driving past the overcrowded feedlot was downright depressing. A sea of beef cattle were jammed together as far as the eye could see, standing in their own muck. Their sad eyes stared blankly as they chewed their cud. I worried that, instead of happy cow thoughts of grazing in a field of clover, they already knew their much darker destiny.

I get it, universe. Weā€™re facing the facts: meat isnā€™t great for heart health, it isnā€™t great for the environment, and it definitely isnā€™t great for the air quality in rural towns nestled beside corporate feedlots. Lately, after eating meat, my husband and I feel sick and plagued with regret. How many times do we have to say, ā€œI shouldnā€™t have eaten that whole burger!ā€ before we learn? We know we donā€™t easily pass up an opportunity for fried chicken or an Italian Beef.Ā 

I canā€™t claim to be a fast learner.

So while Iā€™ve decided to cut back on the meat in my diet, I still havenā€™t decided on my level of commitment. Pescatarian (a vegetarian diet + fish) could be good, considering my love for salmon. But I think the proper term for what Iā€™d like to adopt is a ā€œplant-forward diet,ā€ which will lean heavily toward meatless dishes except in rare circumstances, where a little beef or chicken will get tossed in with grains and veggies.Ā 

I prefer the term ā€œVege-sorta-terianism.ā€

The No-Longer-Vegan-But-Still-Meatless Sloppy Joes turned out pretty well. The basic concept was replacing the ground beef with lentils. Seasonings, onion, and tomatoes plus barbecue sauce on a toasted bun resulted in a tasty dinner that didnā€™t elicit meat sweats.

If I didnā€™t look too closely or wasnā€™t told what was on my plate, I might have been tricked into thinking for a moment that I was actually eating a sloppy joe. But I donā€™t think this will work for me if I approach a plant-forward diet as a game of deception. It should be about eating more foods that grow from the ground and enjoying them as they are.Ā 

What Iā€™m going for is moderation, but how I get there remains to be seen. Follow-through is not my forte. How long can I even go without a hankering for a hamburger? Iā€™ll set my sights low. Iā€™m definitely willing to try. Well, sorta.





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