Q. I hope you’re doing well. I’m an elderly husband caring for my wife, who has dementia, and I’m facing a challenge that I hope you can help with. Her condition seems to be worsening, and one of the difficulties we’re encountering is getting her dressed each day.
Most days, she’s reluctant to get dressed, and while we don’t have many outings, there are times when we need to get out the door for doctor’s appointments or over to our daughter’s house, who lives nearby. Her closet is overflowing with clothes, but she often seems overwhelmed and lost when trying to choose what to wear. On these days, it’s especially tough when she won’t budge or cooperate, and it becomes a struggle to leave the house on time.
I’d really appreciate any practical advice or strategies to help streamline this process and make it easier for both of us.
A. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your situation. Caring for a loved one with dementia presents many challenges, and getting your wife dressed can certainly be one of the more difficult tasks. Here are some strategies that might help make this process smoother:
I suggest you start by limiting her choices. People with dementia have a difficult time making decisions, including what to wear. Simplify her wardrobe by narrowing down her choices. Select a few outfits that are comfortable and suitable for her daily activities, and keep them easily accessible. You can rotate these outfits to keep things fresh while reducing the overwhelming feeling of too many options.
Along those lines, consider downsizing her closet to include only the essential items. Store the rest of her clothes in a spare closet or another area so they’re available if she asks for them later. This can help minimize confusion and make it easier for her to choose what to wear.
Another practical tip that can help is to establish a daily routine. People with dementia thrive on consistent routines. Set a consistent time for getting dressed, ideally right after breakfast or as part of your morning routine. Having a set schedule can help create a sense of normalcy and make it easier for her to follow through.
You might find it helpful to lay out her clothes in a clear and simple way, such as on a chair or a hook, so she can easily see and choose from her options.
If possible, have your daughter or another family member call her to say they’re coming over. Sometimes, a friendly phone call can serve as motivation and make her more inclined to get dressed.
Lastly, try your best to remain patient and calm. Dementia can make decision-making challenging, so try to remain patient and calm. Offer gentle encouragement and avoid pressuring her, as stress can make the situation more difficult. When you need to schedule appointments, aim for late morning to early afternoon to give your wife the time she needs to get ready.
These steps can help streamline the dressing process and reduce stress for both you and your wife. I hope these suggestions make your daily routines a bit easier.
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