Aging in perfect harmony

It seems to me an awful lot of this whole aging process is overblown.

Who doesn’t have their share of aches and pains? I sure do! It’s gotten to the point where I can barely vacuum without needing a month’s supply of Tylenol for my aching back. Well, guess what? My vision is so bad, I can hardly see the dirt anyway…ah, perfect harmony. I figure I’ll clean my house when the Board of Health makes me.

Now that my vision has started going, I find that sometimes the TV shows can be a little blurry. I don’t let it bother me. For my taste, there’s pretty much nothing but disappointment on anyway. Again, perfect harmony. When they bring back the original hockey teams, I’ll get glasses.

Maybe I’m not hearing as well as I used to. People have told me I snap, crackle, and pop when I get out of my chair. I don’t hear it. I don’t hear the phone, I have no idea there’s someone at my door, and I certainly can’t hear the timer on the oven. That’s okay. I rarely use the timer on the oven – I’ve always just used the smoke alarm. Yep…perfect harmony.

On the other hand, hearing loss does have its embarrassing moments. Sometimes, a person will say one word, I’ll hear another, and the laughter begins. The other day, I was talking to my doctor about the aging process. He asked, “How’s your memory?” Well, I heard something else and responded, “They’re fine. The law of gravity has taken over. They ain’t up where they used to be, but they’re fine.”

When he stopped laughing, he shouted, “Memory, not mammaries!” Okay, maybe not such perfect harmony with that one. Although, it did brighten his day.

And don’t even get me started about sore feet! My sensible shoes don’t even make sense anymore. I think I have this one licked, though. I bought my first bicycle. There’s no pressure on my feet. I’m able to ride around a little and get exercise to boot. Mobility and exercise? … Perfect harmony.

All in all, aging is great. I think I’ll celebrate by breaking out the bubbly. Around our house? – Breaking out the bubbly means Metamucil and 7-up.

Suzi D
Sun City resident, N.29

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