Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Certified Senior Advisor and Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. I am new to the area, and I decided to visit a few senior centers to get acquainted with the area and meet new friends. I could really use help in knowing how to navigate all the personalities. I felt like I was in high school again and didn’t know how to be myself!
A. There is a saying I heard many years ago: when there are two people in the room, you’ll find drama. I think it is very true. Your question applies to many situations, but in the world of active adults, it can be a trip back in time when you are with your senior peers. So what can you do? I commend you for stepping out of your comfort zone to visit a senior center. It can be like the first day of school, especially if you don’t know anyone. I know I probably needed some tips back in my high school days; why should this stage of life be any different? Let’s see if we can point out some ideas that will help you. I’ve come up with this list to help you navigate the social scenarios you may encounter.
1. Remember, we only have control of our own thoughts and actions.
2. Treat others as you would treat yourself. It’s the golden rule: if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it at all.
3. Surround yourself with good people. In other words, recognize the people that are positive in your circle of friends.
4. Be aware of the givers and takers in your life. Friends who always complain about life can deplete us of energy. Energy is a precious commodity. Givers add energy to our lives and we, in turn, want to give back. Who are you spending time with?
5. Stay away from the rumor mill. A negative conversation is dangerous. Why is it so easy to get sucked into a conversation like that? Be careful and if you catch yourself in a round robin of negativity, learn how to graciously exit the conversation. My pastor said something very impactful in a sermon once. He said, “If it’s not your story, you shouldn’t be telling it.”
6. Be a good listener when you need to be. That means exactly that. Don’t give advice unless it’s asked of you.
7. Catch someone doing something nice and comment on it. Be an encourager! If you follow the tip about surrounding yourself with good people, you will naturally want to be an encourager. Positive feeds positive. Try it and you’ll see.
8. Have compassion. Life is full of problems and difficult circumstances, and so many of us are working with broken pieces of life. Grace is sometimes the only thing that gives us permission to be patient and kind toward others. I have to remember that every day. I’m not perfect. Nobody is!
9. Have fun. Make sure you take some time to laugh at yourself and others. It’s proven that laughter keeps us healthy!
10. Keep a gratitude journal to help you reflect on the day. I do this! At the end of each day, I try to write down three to five things I am grateful for from that day. It will keep your focus on the positive, and you might have some other thoughts that help you evaluate some of the tips discussed above.
Next time you visit the senior center or any group gathering, make sure you put on the right attitude. It might just rub off, and you could be a great influence on someone else!
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
