Well-behaved women rarely make history.” That certainly sums up my personal philosophy. I am going out on a limb to talk about the preponderance of second marriages and second relationships in Active Adult Communities and the larger world as well.
Before you get your hackles up, let me state that I, too, am in a second marriage. I know from whence I speak that first marriages are often akin to having a driver’s permit. It’s a learning experience. The driver practices, passes the test, and then hits the open road secure and confident in his hard-won knowledge and experience.
Often we arrive at our second destination with baggage. I arrived with a dainty floral Vera Bradley overnight bag and my husband arrived with his own personal porter schlepping 15 mismatched, oversized pieces of baggage. After 18 years of marriage, we’ve been able to donate most of that baggage to charitable causes and work out the kinks. He’s my love and strongest supporter, but he’ll have to get his own column if he wants to comment.
Carol and Peter
I often talk about my charming and favorite friend and neighbor, Peter, again of Single Male Infamy. Peter lost his beloved wife several years ago, and he can share with you firsthand the difficult and arduous journey through grief and eventual healing.
Peter and his significant other, the lovely Carole, met several years after they both moved to Edgewater. Like Peter, Carole lost her spouse of many years after a long illness. Carole is a lively, spirited, intelligent woman and the ideal match for Peter. Together they love and live life to its fullest with dinners out, theatre, concerts, travel, and a shared love of music and singing. It’s obvious to any observer that they are simply wonderful together.
And the best part is, after a lovely evening, Carole can return to her beautifully decorated warm and cozy home and Peter can return to his, well, let’s just call it Single Male Functional.
Eugene and Beverly
Edgewater’s Gene and Bev shared their story. Bev’s husband had passed away, so she knew what Gene was going through when he lost his wife. Actually, the four of them all knew one another. Bev called Gene and suggested they have lunch, and the rest, as they say, is history. They enjoy their beautiful Wilmette model home, extended family, and travel. Proudly and lovingly displayed in their home are three wedding portraits. One of Bev and Gene with their first spouses and one lovely photo placed in the middle. It’s Bev and Gene on their wedding day.
Roland and Sue
Sue and Roland can been seen early in the morning walking their dogs and talking quietly together. They share a love of grandchildren, traveling, and dining out. They love to entertain and are wonderful hosts. Sue is an especially talented baker and Roland is a master chess player.
Glynn and Roland (not the same Roland above; after all, this is a family newspaper) are two creative long married second timers who enjoy theatre – attending as well as performing – travel, and community involvement. Glynn and Roland are the go-to couple when Chapter One Book Club needs creative advertising.
This Slice of Life column is dedicated to these lovely couples, the long married couples and the widows and widowers whose hearts are heavy but who continue to paint and teach, sing, cook, garden, play tennis, parent, and grandparent. They exemplify grace, courage, and a commitment to live life with enthusiasm each day. And for those who are open to it and are fortunate enough to find it, love can be lovelier, or at least as lovely, the second time around.
Columnist’s note: Any reference to persons either real or fictional is wholly intended.
