Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. I am hoping to take a well-deserved vacation early this summer. I take care of my father and am his only caregiver. Do you have suggestions of how I can have peace of mind while I am gone? I plan to be gone for 10 days.
A. First of all, I commend you for taking care of yourself. When you are a caregiver, self-care is vital to your own health and frame of mind. I may be guessing, but you are probably wrestling with many emotions as you look forward to your time away. I was in the same situation myself when I cared for my loved one. Often, there are feelings of guilt, fear, and worry.
I am also happy to see that you are planning in advance. Ten days away doesn’t sound like a long time, but it may seem like an eternity to your father. If you don’t have other family that can help you, you may want to consider hiring a caregiver for that time while you are away. A caregiver can check in on your father for a few hours a day or come by a few days a week, depending on his needs.
When I have a family that is planning a vacation, I usually suggest they begin working with a caregiver several weeks before leaving town, as it will take time for everyone to get used to one another. Additionally, it will give you an opportunity to take a breath while you are still in town. You may discover that the respite you receive while you are still home will be something you can take advantage of on a consistent basis.
Be sure to sit down and write out a detailed list of everything you do in your role as caregiver along with instructions of when and how you perform each task. Include a list of all of your loved one’s doctors with contact information, a detailed list of medications and dosage instructions, and who to call in the event of an emergency. Leave one copy of this information home with your fill-in caregiver, and take a copy with you. Again, leave behind a copy of your travel itinerary and your emergency contact information.
If you are providing full-time care for your loved one, it may be in both of your best interests to hire professional respite care. There are different kinds of respite care to consider; the best option will be determined by the amount and type of care your loved one requires.
• In-home respite – provided by non-medical home care agencies, such as Visiting Angels, to help with hygiene, meal preparation/diet monitoring, light housekeeping, errands, shopping and companionship. In-home care can be part-time or full-time based on the needs of the person receiving the care
• Temporary Assisted Living – Many assisted living facilities have a “respite suite” that you can arrange for your loved one to live in while you are away. There, your dad can be cared for around the clock, have meals and activities provided, and be able to mingle with higher functioning adults in his own age group. He might actually enjoy that and feel like he is on vacation as well!
• Adult day-care centers – If you can arrange transportation and overnight care for your loved one, many churches and community centers provide adult day-care services to care for and engage seniors during the day.
• Short-term nursing homes – Some nursing homes will care for patients on a temporary basis in the event their regular caregiver is out of town.
• Day hospitals – If your loved one requires medical care, some hospitals have programs that provide care to patients during the day. Again, you will need to make other arrangements for overnight care and transportation.
I’ve seen families travel with peace of mind once they have their caregiving arrangements in place. If you decide to use a caregiver, the period before you leave will help you see how things are going. You and your father will be building a relationship and a routine with that caregiver, and that will be very important. As you see how the caregiver and your father interact, your sense of peace will come.
Everyone is entitled to a break now and then. For a family caregiver, taking a vacation may mean extra planning and expense, but it is also a necessity if you are to stay at your mental and physical best as you care for your loved one.
In previous articles, we have discussed how to choose a reputable caregiver. If you need a caregiver hiring questionnaire, give me a call at 847-429-0100 and I will be happy to send one out to you.
• Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
