Here’s a detail about me that everyone who works with me knows (and probably hates) and what all my friends and family know (and probably hate). I hate checking voice mail. I do it, but it’s a task I’d rather not. Not sure why, either; I just know it’s one of my pet peeves…no matter who’s called.
When I got my smartphone and found out I could use Google Voice to manage voice mails, I was thrilled because Google Voice comes with a speech-to-text option, allowing me to read my voice mails without ever pressing PLAY. Best of all, they come straight to my inbox, so I don’t even have to pick up my phone to look at them. I’m a big-time emailer, so my spirits literally soared at the possibilities. I never have to check a voice mail again!
After having my phone for a few months, I’ve discovered that’s only sort of the reality.
Hollywood and certain schools of thought on robotic engineering will have you believe that the world of Terminator is right around the corner, but I really don’t know what everyone’s afraid of when this speech-to-text option can’t transcribe a voice mail for the digital life of it.
When I first told my ad reps about this new feature, Sun Day Advertising Representative Kurt Kuehnert (who was apparently familiar with the inaccuracies of speech-to-text) asked, “Does it get it right, or does it read something like, ‘Chris, it’s Kurt, I have no intestines. Call me.”
Below are excerpts from transcribed voice mails. I’ve Xed out names or business names for anonymity (unless they were a Sun Day employee), but I probably didn’t need to do that. You’ll see why:
Chris Good morning, It’s Kirk. It’s about 910 minutes to 10 on Friday the 18th. I just got an email from XXXX at XXXX and responding to my message about a pressing issue in the size of her…. (910 minutes to 10!)
Give me a call or I sent you an email this morning. Maybe we need to starbucks or something and let’s get this thing talk about it.
and in the parking lot in front of junior since I picked up to what you guys bought the beautiful.
Chris This is XXXX. Oh, please give me a call back….
(This next one’s from a Sun City resident. If you’re reading this, I bet you don’t know it’s your message.)
They’re really just mailed actually comes in the mail you know I really enjoy it so I’ve been missed it again. (mail comes in mail…interesting.)
This is from my accountant:
So here’s what I’ve got I’ve got 130 minutes spot available to talk… (I really like my accountant, but I don’t want to talk to him for 130 minutes.)
From one of our ad reps:
Hi Chris It’s Carol. Do you have any idea?
Could you give me a telephone call back….
hi chris are going to key and who we are going to confirm any less of you know any feelings west i stand it pulled the old file and i see it’s you or your wife don’t know if we’re still doing it…. (I hope not.)
hello mr lovelace…. (Awesome! I have a James Bond character name!)
hello crystal pusa…. (So I have a stripper name, too.)
So it’s under your doormat in freezing out there today. So ask you to Brooklyn Industries camp….
From Judy, one of our ad reps, trying to send me a file while she was out of state:
You know internet or a text or not a big red check has. Should be cautious of opening the email, but it wasn’t it’s my sewer Wi-Fi on our TV. We just looked right into it….
Hey chris it’s kurt it’s about 5 after 2 i’m sorry i couldn’t pick up your call i was good so i think you might be calling me i’ll call you back hello hello
Yeah, sooooo, I guess I’m stuck checking my voice mails. Or, as my speech-to-text app would say: Yes, I’m sticking my vice sales.
