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September 7, 2023

Ask an Angel

Ask an Angel: July 13, 2023

My parents retired a year ago and have recently decided to downsize from our family home to a condominium. I agree with their decision to find a smaller home that requires little maintenance, especially since they no longer have the energy to pour into a large home. However, I’m most concerned about the emotional impact this move might have on my parents. Both my parents were extremely involved in their neighborhood and were accustomed to neighbors dropping by to shoot the breeze. I worry that they might feel a sense of loss as they leave behind familiar surroundings and friends.

Ask an Angel: June 29, 2023

Now that I’ve entered my 70s, I’ve been spending more and more time reading about men’s health. While I’ve mostly lived an active lifestyle, I’m finding that in retirement, I no longer have as much mental engagement as I was used to in my career. I read about early-onset Alzheimer’s disease and other age-related chronic health conditions related to men, and it terrifies me.

Ask an Angel: June 15, 2023

I’m writing to seek your expert advice on behalf of my beloved aunt. She’s facing isolation and loneliness during the summer months, especially as her immediate family spends most of the summer at their lake home in Michigan. She has expressed feeling isolated and lonely, and not just because her family is away for the summer.

Ask an Angel: June 1, 2023

I am writing to you today because I am an older adult who could benefit from home care, but I am scared because I don’t think it’s safe. I worry about letting strangers into my home and about the potential risks of having someone else help me with tasks such as bathing, dressing, and grooming.

Ask an Angel: May 18, 2023

I am writing to express my concern about access to healthcare as I approach retirement age. As an older adult male, I have seen many of my peers struggle to obtain the care they need, particularly those with limited financial means.

Ask an Angel: May 4, 2023

I am writing to seek your advice on the conversations that I should have with my adult children. As a senior, I know that I need to make some important decisions about my future and my family’s future, and I want to ensure that my children are well-prepared for any eventualities.

Ask an Angel: April 20, 2023

I’m writing to you because I’m concerned about my dad’s coffee consumption. He drinks several cups of coffee throughout the day, and I worry that it’s hurting his health.

Ask an Angel: March 9, 2023

I am writing to you about a senior in my life who has recently lost her sense of purpose. Annie is a beloved member of our community, but she has been feeling lost and unmotivated lately. She’s expressed to me that she doesn’t feel like she has a reason to get up in the morning anymore and that she doesn’t know what to do with her time. Annie has always been an active person, but lately, she seems more withdrawn. She told me in confidence that she feels extremely lonely and isolated.

Ask an Angel: February 23, 2023

I am writing to express my concern about my aging parents. They are in their late 80s and continue to live independently in their own home. However, I’ve been noticing some changes to their well-being that have me worried. My mom has some memory issues, as I’ve observed her experiencing increased forgetfulness and mood swings. My dad’s memory is intact, but he seems to struggle with everyday household tasks. I understand that aging can bring about these changes, but I feel that it’s time I address them promptly.

Ask an Angel: February 9, 2023

My wife has some memory issues that are beginning to evolve. Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease and lived to her upper 90s. My wife is 86 years old and I’m approaching my 90th birthday. We’re managing life okay, although I do have my health concerns. While I love my wife, caring for her is starting to exhaust me.

Ask an Angel: January 26, 2023

A few months ago, I needed to make some difficult medical decisions for my mother as her health declined. It was disheartening and I’ve carried some guilt because of it. My husband and I don’t want our children to be burdened with similar decisions. We are meeting with our lawyer to revisit our will and trust so that our children have a road map to follow. That being said, I’m having a difficult time grasping the difference between hospice care and palliative care.

Ask an Angel: December 15, 2022

I am having a hip replacement in a few weeks. While I’m looking forward to being able to walk around with less pain, I’m not looking forward to the necessary therapy after surgery. My orthopedic surgeon recommends that I go to a short-term rehabilitation facility after being discharged from the hospital. I know I’ll benefit from the extensive therapy. However, I’m dreading the many unknowns of what to expect.

Ask an Angel: December 8, 2022

I’m concerned about my mom. She’s 71 and lives alone. My dad passed away five years ago and I’m convinced that my mom is still grieving his death. Since she became a widow, she’s become more reclusive. She doesn’t like to drive far from home and doesn’t make much of an effort to maintain friendships. I live nearby and try to include her as much as possible. She loves to shop but rarely leaves her home to shop unless I’m with her.

Ask an Angel: October 6, 2022

As much as I hate to admit it, my parents are growing older. We live just a short drive apart, yet they still spend a lot of time by themselves. I worry about their safety at home. My mom enjoys gardening, and my dad likes to putz around in the garage, sorting through memorabilia he’s collected over the years. I work full-time, and although I work from home, I can’t just hop over to check in on them during the day.

Ask an Angel: September 8, 2022

My wife and I are in our mid-70s, and our daughter keeps hounding us to schedule an eye exam. She was mortified to learn that we haven’t been to the optometrist since 2019. In the past, my wife and I saw our optometrist every other year. Since our last eye appointment, I’ve retired and COVID hit the world. My wife and I sort of got out of the habit of scheduling annual physicals and other medical appointments. We’re in decent health and we haven’t noticed any changes in our vision.

Ask an Angel: August 11, 2022

My husband and I, along with our two boys (7 & 5), are visiting my husband’s grandmother in a few weeks. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen her, as we live out-of-state. She currently lives in a memory care facility. My father-in-law has told us that she mostly has good days. She’s very forgetful but seems healthy otherwise. I’m writing for suggestions as to what to do during our visit. She’s always been hard of hearing, and conversation can be challenging, even before she had dementia.

Ask an Angel: July 28, 2022

I’m concerned about my mom. She relocated from Ohio to live closer to me. While I love having her nearby, she has yet to establish her social network. I work part-time, and she watches my children until me, or my husband can pick them up after work. I see her multiple times a week, and she insists on having us over for Sunday lunch. Initially, she didn’t have many opportunities to socialize due to the pandemic. Now that things are pretty much back to normal, she doesn’t seem interested in finding friends.

Ask an Angel: June 30, 2022

I’m concerned about my husband. He is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and has always been an avid gardener. He (and I) have reached the point where we can no longer garden as he’s used to doing. The constant bending over to plant flowers causes my back to flare up. My husband’s Alzheimer’s prevents him from staying safe outside in the heat and sun.

Ask an Angel: June 16, 2022

I’m a very concerned daughter writing for advice about her older parents. My parents, in their mid-70s, have significantly changed their eating habits over the last few years. They used to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. Recently, I’ve noticed that their plates are usually filled with carbohydrates and red meat, with very little else. My dad loves bananas, and my mom enjoys potatoes in all forms. Yet, aside from an occasional carrot stick, they eat at my house, I don’t think they’re eating much variety of produce.

Ask an Angel: June 2, 2022

My family and I plan to visit my parents over the summer. We live out of state and usually get together about four times a year. Since COVID, our visits have spread out. They haven’t been out to visit us yet, stating they’re concerned about variants of COVID as they travel. My parents are approaching their 80s. I noticed during our last visit that they seem to be struggling. My sister lives nearby but doesn’t appear too concerned for their health. She also heavily relies upon them, specifically my mom, to watch her children while she works.

Ask an Angel: May 19, 2022

Our neighborhood holds an annual garage sale and this is the year we’re going to participate. My husband and I are ready to downsize to a smaller, ranch-style home. We’re both retired and our kids have flown the nest. We’ve accumulated a lot over the 20 years we’ve lived in this home. I want to use the neighborhood garage sale as an opportunity for my husband and me to begin sorting through our belongings. However, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed.

Ask an Angel: May 5, 2022

My husband recently had a health scare. We’re both in our mid-60s and have had few health concerns until recently. During my husband’s annual dermatologist appointment, where his doctor found a small bump on his ear. A biopsy confirmed it was skin cancer. Fortunately, it was diagnosed as basal cell carcinoma, and he had it removed a week ago. His doctor said that it’s common to find growths on ears, especially in men prone to wearing baseball caps. These hats protect their scalps but offer no UV protection for their ears. My husband wears sunscreen but often neglects to put it on his ears.

Ask an Angel: April 21, 2022

‘m writing about my father who is approaching his 90th birthday. He is my mother’s primary caregiver, who’s in her mid-eighties and has early-stage dementia. They live in a single-family home. I’m fortunate to live nearby and pop in often to visit. They also come to our home for dinner regularly. While he’s in relatively good health, I’m growing concerned about his driving ability. He doesn’t drive too far and seems to have set his own limits (such as not driving at night). However, I’m not sure how long he should continue driving, even locally.

Ask an Angel: April 7, 2022

I’m concerned about my mother-in-law. She’s in her mid-seventies, lives alone, and is still independent. However, the past few times I’ve stopped by to visit, she’s seemed more stressed than usual. We usually get together for lunch during the week, but she’s backed out four of the five times we’ve made plans.

Ask an Angel: March 24, 2022

The older I get, the more and more trouble I have falling asleep. I can be exhausted, only to find myself wide awake by the time my head hits the pillow. I wake up in the morning feeling groggy and often find myself nodding off while I’m reading a book or watching television. To make matters even worse, I wake up at least four nights a week to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I’m tired of feeling tired all the time.

Ask an Angel: March 10, 2022

My elderly parents prefer that I order their groceries online and have them delivered to their home. They’ve always eaten rather healthy. Recently, I’ve noticed that their grocery lists have been filled with more processed foods than usual. My mom is in the early stages of dementia, and I know my dad has assumed the role of chef. His repertoire is not very deep, although he can follow recipes. I’m concerned about their overall diet.