Ask an Angel: November 16, 2023

I’m writing to you as a senior who is feeling rather down around Thanksgiving this year. While the holiday season has always been a time of joy and togetherness for my family, recent changes in my life have left me feeling somewhat disconnected and melancholic. Thanksgiving used to be a time of gathering with loved ones, sharing stories, and expressing our gratitude for each other. Today, Thanksgiving looks much different as family members have moved away and gatherings have become smaller. This shift has left me feeling lonely.

Obscured histories

Some people may be really mad about what I am about to write, put off by what is considered sacred.

But as we well know, even our idols are human; nobody’s perfect. In theaters, Priscilla comes to us from writer/director Sophia Coppola, just a little over a year after Baz Luhrmann’s rapturous bedazzled send-up to the King.

Permission to cry, permission to feel, permission to rest

Tragedy is the first thing that shows up when I turn on the news, or log in to social media. The cruelty that humans can perpetrate on other humans takes my breath away. In so many ways I want to retreat into the world that I believe existed when I was a young child, where everyone was a friend and anyone would offer help if you needed it.

Besides the spectacle of war, natural disaster, and crime broadcasted on our screens, tragedy has touched my own community, too. A 17-year-old boy’s life was cut short this week, and the high school where my daughter attends has been reeling from this senseless snuffing out of a beautiful life that was just getting started.

Not losing sleep over a hero’s fall from grace

Years ago, when I taught high school English, I assigned students to write an essay about some real person they considered to be a hero, and why. I met with each student beforehand to discuss their choice, to ensure they understood the assignment and were going in the right direction.

And when a boy named Jim said his hero was Jean-Claude Van Damme, I asked him why.

Of course, she never lived to see the age of moving pictures on large screens nor the advent of cathode rays and LED.

Venturing into Vege-sorta-terianism

Last night I tried a new recipe for dinner: Vegan Sloppy Joes.

The “vegan” part of the recipe went straight out the window the moment I decided a trip to the grocery store for vegetable stock was out of the question: the beef stock in my cabinet would have to do.

This is precisely why I’ll never embrace veganism. I’m simply too lazy and don’t have the discipline required.

In memory of an unhinged Bear

Whenever someone you know passes away and their name comes up in conversation, a mental image of that person will rush to the surface of your thoughts — and often it’s one very specific image of one very singular moment, before other images come flooding into your mind’s eye.

It’s like that with me whenever I hear the name of Chicago Bears middle linebacker Dick Butkus — “the most feared tackler of all time” according to the NFL Network — who passed away two weeks ago on October 5.

Not a mis-steak

Jim and Nancy do not disclose the fact that they will review a restaurant before they attend, ensuring their reviews are unbiased and uninfluenced by their position with the Sun Day.

Fifty years ago, after dating for six weeks, I asked the moron to marry me. My parents said it was a “mistake,” and made us wait a year to marry. To celebrate us proving them wrong, we decided to commemorate our 49th year anniversary with an elegant meal at St. Charles Place Steakhouse in St. Charles.

Scary tales and short stories

The last flashes of summer have given way to a chill that can only mean one thing; autumn is upon us. And as we settle into darker nights, our collective screens reflect a certain mood. Whether at home or in a theater, we seek out movies to give pause and even a slight tingle down our spine. Well, Disney Plus has just the ticket for you then.

Ask an Angel: October 19, 2023

My aging parents recently experienced a fire scare in their home, and it’s left us all concerned about their well-being. My parents are at an age where certain physical limitations might pose challenges in the event of an emergency. I want to be proactive in helping them create a safer living environment, but I’m not sure where to start or what steps to take.

Giving tree: how caring for nature can lead to real joy

My son, Christopher, graduated college in May. He lives in Tennessee, and we have been meeting virtually each Friday to discuss his job search. I can unabashedly say it is the highlight of my week. Our weekly chats give him an opportunity to let me know what he has accomplished and for me to give him feedback and ideas of where he should be focusing his efforts. The feeling that I am tangibly helping him to chart his future is very rewarding. As Elie Tahari observed “Sooner or later, you realize that real fulfillment comes only from helping others. All of the rest is just temporary.”

When the AI gods plunk you into a demographic

It can be a bit jarring to learn that you’re part of a demographic, especially if it’s one you didn’t particularly want to be part of.

Oh, sometimes we choose our demographics willingly, if unconsciously. If you watch a lot of Duck Dynasty, you’re probably glad to see ads for camouflage outdoor wear. Watch a lot of Golden Girls reruns, and you’ll find the best prices for hearing aids and hemorrhoid cream.

Traffic jam jammin’

It was a nearly perfect fall morning, the kind with a clear blue sky as sharp as glass. The tips of trees were just starting to be touched by edges of gold and red. My gas tank was full, and I’d thrown my overnight bag into the back seat. I was taking a quick trip up to Wisconsin to visit some relatives who were staying at my parents’ house.

Reading between the vines

In the hopes that all of us have a few extra moments this fall to read here is information about a few gardening books, blogs, e-newsletters and a YouTube channel that I thought you might enjoy.

Ask the Woodchucks: Shower temperature adjustment

Homes in Sun City are between 14 and 24 years old. In that length of time, some things may need to be reset. One of my neighbors complained that the shower temperature is not as hot as it used to be. Many people set the temperature higher on the water heater, but that is inefficient because all the water in the water heater is being stored at a temperature higher than necessary.

Ask an Angel: October 5, 2023

As the days grow shorter and the chill of autumn settles in, I find myself feeling a mix of anticipation and worry about the upcoming season. You see, I’m in my 70s, and with the colder weather approaching, I’m concerned about the possibility of becoming inactive and isolated during the fall and winter months.

Eat ‘local’ly

You may not realize from our articles, but Jim and I do eat fruits and veggies, and we actually go out of our way to get super fresh produce. We needed to stock up and headed to Valli Produce in Hoffman Estates. On our way there, we decided to try a new “local” restaurant that took the place of the Tilted Kilt on Higgins Road in Schaumburg. This venue is now the Local Kitchen and Tap.

Locales Exoticós

As we enter the spookiest month of the year, the most horrifying prospect has been less films to go see. However, as of this deadline, the Writers’ Guild has come to an interim agreement with the five major studios. Great news! This doesn’t affect films that have been delayed, so we will have to wait to see Paul Atreides ride that sand worm. Looking at you, Warner Bros. Regardless some studios are still putting out movies this fall. Here are a couple that may pique your interest.

Un-Bali-vable

This is a slightly different travel story as it’s from a friend’s 30-year-old daughter. I definitely WOULDN’T do everything she did, nor would I expect you to follow in her footsteps but she did have some experiences I think everyone could enjoy. Covid hit Jess Coder hard and her company gave her time to ‘reset’ with a month off, so she decided a new adventure was in store. Now, where to go?

Biking back to a memory of Kathy and the bullfrog

As summer peaks and edges toward autumn, and with winter not far ahead down the road, I cherish my morning bike ride more and more each day.

Early every morning, weather permitting, I ride out of Sun City southward along Sandwald Road all the way to Timber Creek and back, a roundtrip of a bit more than seven miles that lasts me the better part of an hour. I wish it were longer, but that’s as far as I can go in the countryside without too great a risk of being squashed like a bug by a truck or car.

Someone else’s house

She is practically my neighbor, but I don’t run into her at the block party or chat with her at garage sales. This mysterious woman was, until a few months ago, an elected public official—and she just happens to live down the street from me. Even though I know her by name, I’ve never spoken to her face to face. But she’s visible in other ways. I’ve seen her at ribbon cutting ceremonies, sports tournaments, and public meetings. I’ve read her Op-ed pieces; I’ve scoured countless news stories, tracking her role as a public servant. She fascinates me, this local quasi-celebrity.

Ask an Angel: September 21, 2023

I’m writing for advice regarding a situation that has arisen in my family. Recently, my parents started home care, and we welcomed a new caregiver into our lives. As their daughter, I’m eager to facilitate a positive and meaningful relationship between my parents and their caregiver.

An unexpected pleasure

It’s the end of summer which means the end of another bocce ball season. The championship tournament is over, and the winners are to be honored for all eternity on a plaque hanging proudly in a dark corner in Jameson’s Charhouse. The plaque must first be engraved, and since the name plate is as old as we are, there is only one engraver in this area that still has the necessary equipment to do the job. On the way to the engraver, we passed by a restaurant that one of our bocce buddies, Hank, recommended. We must admit we have passed by this restaurant time and time again and never gave it a second thought. We’re talking about the 3 Brothers Restaurant in Woodstock.

Festival notes

Hope you all had a great Labor Day. As I write this, cold rains stream down my window. This grand harbinger of Autumn is a far cry from the canals in Italy, which were a balmy 84 degrees. The Lido was a bit spare at the Venice Film Festival due to the Actors’ and Writers’ Strike. However, some films managed to break through. New features premiered by Wes Anderson, Richard Linklater and the final film by William Friedkin made their debuts. Netflix made a big splash due to a lack of big studio presence. Both Bradley Cooper’s Maestro and David Fincher’s The Killer lead the way; both of which I plan to look into later this year.

Sail on, Jimmy. Thanks for the memories

As I write these words, it is early Saturday morning, September 2. Just a few hours ago, my musical hero Jimmy Buffett died.

When I learned the news, I did the same thing I did when my musical hero John Prine died of covid three years ago: I pulled out my guitar and started playing as many of his songs as I knew, fighting back the tears before my throat choked each song to a premature end.

This tender heart

I come home from work to find my teen daughter crying on her bed. She is 16, a high school junior, a virtual replica of myself at that age, both in looks and demeanor. The tears rolling down her face are hot and angry. When I try to hug her, I can feel the way every muscle in her body is taut, and my mind immediately thinks of a snake, coiled and backed into a corner, ready to strike defensively at the slightest provocation.

Ask an Angel: September 7, 2023

Although I hesitate to call myself a senior, I’m an older adult who is approaching retirement age and I’m considering the prospect of active retirement living. As this is a significant life decision, I’m writing for information about what active retirement entails and how to make the most of this phase in life.  Over the years, I’ve witnessed friends and family transitioning into various forms of retirement living, and I’ve seen a wide range of experiences.

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